therapy

 
I write because I must
this is where I go when the world is too much
a place I can control

when I feel have no will
I push on
I pick the pen and battle demons
trapping them with the words I have written

I can only write what I'm feeling
each thought even in fantasy is laced with reality
if I'm hurting I can't cover it
it's reflected back to me in verses

if my mind is unstable
I feel safety here even in stating the outlandish
I can't communicate these things in my day to day
navigating the world is difficult
while simultaneously dealing with voices I hear

my imagination runs wild and I have to conquer it
I write it all down so it doesn't run away with me
I write the painful things down too
the things that make me feel helpless
some people would judge me for that
but it's better than losing my mind over it

that's what happens to me when things are too stressful
my mind harbors in my imaginations
it's the way it's always been for me
when reality is too hurtful
my mind makes up alternate realities for me to shelter in

I break under the weight of stress
early childhood traumas are likely the cause
my mind snaps and I am thrown adrift

so I find my bearing where I am safe
in a world of words I can define

a place I can rest