Didikai

You made it sound so sweet and loving in my memory  
When your hands held my face, nails digging into my cheeks
Inspecting my face with a saccharine smile on yours
I was a child unaware you were looking for the gypsy
I'm your first grandchild and you inspected me like cattle
Stamping me effortlessly with being not gypsy enough
Expecting me to be as dark as my father with an irish mom
Never ceases to amaze me when people do that
Look at these little kids like they're just supposed  
To look just like their dad's right out the womb
You wouldn't look at me much when I came around
I'd watch you do tarot for those at the AA meetings
Your bracelets making bell like sounds as they bump together
I knew you were my grandmother but I wasn't your grandchild  
I have no memory of you ever saying my name  
I was only ever referred to as the didikai child