deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cut it off
My body... My sick stupid fucking body
All I see is sickness when I look in the mirror
Mishaped from years in a bedbound state
Who fucking cares about that, huh?
No one cares about things they cannot see
All they see is the fat in places It shouldn't be
Stretch marks marring my breasts from when I was a teen
My arms, my hips, busted skin seams
Beauty is only skin deep though.. right?
Pretty privilege everywhere you see
Where are the people who look like me?
My friends seem to comment on my waist the most
Does it fucking matter I have an hourglass shape?
Does it even count as beautiful when I'm fat?
I dream night amd day of when I go under the knife
To remove the extra skin from my arms and stomach
My body betrays me at every single fucking turn
It hurts me when I move and hurts me when I don't
I can't wait for the pills they'll give me in April
I cannot wait for the freedom from this burden
Maybe people will believe me when I'm not like this
People dont care about your pain if your fat
They dont care about your skin hanging from your bones
Or the damage from losing weight and gaining it again
They don't care that you dont drink soda
They dont care that you don't eat... At all
People always call you a liar while chugging a coke themselves
They scream about healthy when it's just their excuse for abuse
Fat people dont go to the gym because we aren't welcome there
It's a place for skinny people, dont you know...
To show off their good genetics and lack of hobbies
All they care about is that superiority of that shape they chase
But that's just bitterness,huh? This taste in my mouth
I am aware that people view me as a "cute" fat person
How degrading... How utterly fucking degrading
An unthreatening five foot five furious plushy
All because my waist looks good at any weight
I've had friends say I have pretty fat privilege
But my waist doesn't make doctors believe me
Doesn't make them kind to me at fucking all
Doesn't make people treat me with kindness
Sure people want to fuck you but good god
They certainly dont want to be seen with you
It doesn't matter the gender everyone wants someone beautiful
People preach that your heart is the best makeup
That your smile can get you anywhere you wanna be
But at the end of the day... Fat people die cuz doctors just dont care
Maybe when I finally can cut it all off they'll listen
All I see is sickness when I look in the mirror
Mishaped from years in a bedbound state
Who fucking cares about that, huh?
No one cares about things they cannot see
All they see is the fat in places It shouldn't be
Stretch marks marring my breasts from when I was a teen
My arms, my hips, busted skin seams
Beauty is only skin deep though.. right?
Pretty privilege everywhere you see
Where are the people who look like me?
My friends seem to comment on my waist the most
Does it fucking matter I have an hourglass shape?
Does it even count as beautiful when I'm fat?
I dream night amd day of when I go under the knife
To remove the extra skin from my arms and stomach
My body betrays me at every single fucking turn
It hurts me when I move and hurts me when I don't
I can't wait for the pills they'll give me in April
I cannot wait for the freedom from this burden
Maybe people will believe me when I'm not like this
People dont care about your pain if your fat
They dont care about your skin hanging from your bones
Or the damage from losing weight and gaining it again
They don't care that you dont drink soda
They dont care that you don't eat... At all
People always call you a liar while chugging a coke themselves
They scream about healthy when it's just their excuse for abuse
Fat people dont go to the gym because we aren't welcome there
It's a place for skinny people, dont you know...
To show off their good genetics and lack of hobbies
All they care about is that superiority of that shape they chase
But that's just bitterness,huh? This taste in my mouth
I am aware that people view me as a "cute" fat person
How degrading... How utterly fucking degrading
An unthreatening five foot five furious plushy
All because my waist looks good at any weight
I've had friends say I have pretty fat privilege
But my waist doesn't make doctors believe me
Doesn't make them kind to me at fucking all
Doesn't make people treat me with kindness
Sure people want to fuck you but good god
They certainly dont want to be seen with you
It doesn't matter the gender everyone wants someone beautiful
People preach that your heart is the best makeup
That your smile can get you anywhere you wanna be
But at the end of the day... Fat people die cuz doctors just dont care
Maybe when I finally can cut it all off they'll listen
Published 3rd Jan 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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3rd Jan 2023 1:44pm
It sucks there's a kind of assumed privilege to judge people for their looks when so many other forms of superficial judgment are now frowned upon.
3rd Jan 2023 3:02pm
My dear BBG, I lost 100 pounds and gained back 40 because of hypothyroidism due to having my thyroid removed because of cancer. I have overwhelming fatigue from narcolepsy making it difficult to exercise on a regular basis. 34 medical conditions, 38 pills a day and pain I am very familiar with.
I too was supposed to have the very same surgery. Now I am not a candidate.
It’s not easy. I’ve had to learn to love and embrace the body I am left with. I am still alive, a bonus when so many times I did not want to be.
I understand your pain.
If you want to ever DM, I am available.
I too was supposed to have the very same surgery. Now I am not a candidate.
It’s not easy. I’ve had to learn to love and embrace the body I am left with. I am still alive, a bonus when so many times I did not want to be.
I understand your pain.
If you want to ever DM, I am available.
3rd Jan 2023 6:31pm
Most of the time I love how hard my body strives to survive. I was just so angry for some reason last night. I'm so glad you're around and give me perspective. I strive for acceptance of myself. It just breaks down at times.
4th Jan 2023 00:00am
3rd Jan 2023 10:45pm
Heartfelt and deep. Those of us who struggle with weight, whether it's genes, illness or age, feel so out of place with the current standards, especially with social media may shame us into feeling bad.
