Silver

It wasn’t that long ago that she closed the door,
But not all the way.
Silver light shining in a horizontal line
Against her heart.
Just enough space
To let the real her
In.
On days where she needs to remember
The dreams that once anchored her.
Just enough space
To forget about the impossibility.
The inability to be the girl who wasn’t
Anxious. Doubtful.
Too afraid to get too close to the
Edge.

Running, youthful faced with an open soul
Into the future.
I, once was her.
What’s left? After years of survival,
Being my own seeing eye dog,
The warmth of freedom hardened with life.
Life on life’s terms.

All that’s left is a woman whose
So afraid of the edge
That she can not enjoy the
View.

It’s been a long time.
Since I’ve felt infinite, inspiring,
A mystery.
Since I’ve felt unhinged from the concrete barriers,
Of the grey this shade of adulthood
Brings.
What happened to me?

Every woman must feel this way,
At some point on the journey.
That light, I sanctuary behind an almost closed door.
Has been all but stomped out by the jealously of women,
Or the fear of a man.

It wasn’t that long ago that she closed the door,
But not all the way.
Let’s just stand in its light
For a while.