deepundergroundpoetry.com
American Horror Story
"Hi John Smith
how's the cancer faring?"
-"is that a joke?"
"oh you know us physicians, such kidders
now let's treat those stomach cramps
here shove this wand up your ass
then we'll have you run on the treadmill"
-"what will that do?"
"I don't know, can't hurt"
-"are you a real doctor?"
"only part time
my full time job is babysitting my sisters kids
here, drink this"
-"yuck! that's nasty!! what is it?"
"radiopharmaceuticalsabcd123"
-"is that safe?"
"no, but you already took it so...
anyway here's your bill"
-"2000$!!! I haven't even been here 15 minutes?!"
"well, your healthcare only covers 5$ off
any appetizer at Red Lobster
but as for what you owe us
we had to charge you for the room
also the chair for you to sit in
and charges to look at me
that isn't including the doctor's fee
or pill you drank
we didn't even do the treadmill yet
now that's the real kick in the nads
and can we please have the money up front?
you look poor, so we don't trust you"
-“am I at least ok?”
“well after extensive research
I have concluded
that you’re a lying son of a bitch
so if you could stop making shit up
I have more important patients to take care of”
finally I’m home
ordered a large pizza with bread sticks
30$ plus tip?
might as well, I'm already in the hole
least the food helps with my depression
"fuck!", I just chipped a tooth
"aughhh!!" stubbed my toe
fuck it, I'll just walk it off
work is only 8 hours long
people have survived worse, right?
forget it, just let me die
how's the cancer faring?"
-"is that a joke?"
"oh you know us physicians, such kidders
now let's treat those stomach cramps
here shove this wand up your ass
then we'll have you run on the treadmill"
-"what will that do?"
"I don't know, can't hurt"
-"are you a real doctor?"
"only part time
my full time job is babysitting my sisters kids
here, drink this"
-"yuck! that's nasty!! what is it?"
"radiopharmaceuticalsabcd123"
-"is that safe?"
"no, but you already took it so...
anyway here's your bill"
-"2000$!!! I haven't even been here 15 minutes?!"
"well, your healthcare only covers 5$ off
any appetizer at Red Lobster
but as for what you owe us
we had to charge you for the room
also the chair for you to sit in
and charges to look at me
that isn't including the doctor's fee
or pill you drank
we didn't even do the treadmill yet
now that's the real kick in the nads
and can we please have the money up front?
you look poor, so we don't trust you"
-“am I at least ok?”
“well after extensive research
I have concluded
that you’re a lying son of a bitch
so if you could stop making shit up
I have more important patients to take care of”
finally I’m home
ordered a large pizza with bread sticks
30$ plus tip?
might as well, I'm already in the hole
least the food helps with my depression
"fuck!", I just chipped a tooth
"aughhh!!" stubbed my toe
fuck it, I'll just walk it off
work is only 8 hours long
people have survived worse, right?
forget it, just let me die
Published 28th Oct 2022
Author's Note
On the 4th day of Halloween I give to thee... crappy healthcare
this is kind of a bonus to my 13 days of Halloween poems. couldn't decide if i wanted this or "The Four Horsemen" so i posted them both.
this is kind of a bonus to my 13 days of Halloween poems. couldn't decide if i wanted this or "The Four Horsemen" so i posted them both.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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reading list entries 3
comments 8
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28th Oct 2022 7:27am
Ain't no lie here and hell yes it's scary.
*tripped and fell bending my hand backwards*
Oh well, walk it off
Peace. ;-)
*tripped and fell bending my hand backwards*
Oh well, walk it off
Peace. ;-)
28th Oct 2022 7:31am
Haha yeah it's life. I feel like everytime I go to the doctor I spend a tone of money and still get nowhere. Maybe part of the problem is im in a small town, that mixed with insurance being a joke.
Thanks for the read, friend 😁 very much appreciated.
Thanks for the read, friend 😁 very much appreciated.
28th Oct 2022 9:26pm
29th Oct 2022 2:36am
Unfortunately relatable. Thank you for the read, friend. Very much appreciated 😁
29th Oct 2022 9:37am
Our healthcare system is a joke around the world. We don't think that it will ever get repaired because there is to many associations and politicians getting paid. Lots of humor here dude, another tidbit. The term "blowing smoke up someone's ass" was an actual thing. There was a time when people thought this was a way to revive a drown victim by insert a pipe or tube into there rear and blowing smoke up there. Tight work
29th Oct 2022 10:02am
Haha, yes I actually knew about that terms history strangely enough. Healthcare is such a joke, or really it's such a scam. Thanks for the read, friend 😁
29th Oct 2022 1:23pm
A great satire in form of poetry! Bravo my friend 👏👏👏
Unfortunately, the healthcare system isn't that too good in my country as well... Seems most of the doctors like extorting huge fees from patients...n what can we say about the hospitals... Hospitals are nothing but money minting machines...
Unfortunately, the healthcare system isn't that too good in my country as well... Seems most of the doctors like extorting huge fees from patients...n what can we say about the hospitals... Hospitals are nothing but money minting machines...
29th Oct 2022 4:35pm
That's kind of funny. I think over here in the usa we think of the rest of the world as having such better healthcare. Kind of disappointing that its just as corrupt.
Thank you for the read, friend 😁
Thank you for the read, friend 😁
