The folly of fear & the precariousness of dissatisfaction

I noticed that I seemed to be holding back from exploring some of my more intense and personal emotional truths in my writing here on DUP. Mostly being unintentionally aware but a little bit of that was probably because I felt this underlying sense of not feeling like it was as safe of a space as it used to be. Those thoughts spiderwebbed and lead me want to explore my more imitate and intricate experiences; my nature then and now. Hence, the reinvested effort that I gave this piece, in hopes of making sense of things in my own mind and heart...As well as finding a way back to the openness I originally felt within my capacity to share without concern or worry.

I thank you for stopping by and for being as supportive as you've always been. It means a great deal to me, Jay.

I'm thrilled you found a bit of illumination.
❦B

This is pure fire 🔥 🔥 🔥.  "Ican'twaittotasteher-isms" that is so cleaver. Actually there is a lot in this poem that is cleaver and layered. I also like "two-united-weirdo's" hehe. Got to be a top fav of mine.

awesomeness, friend 😁

Wow, DC!
I can't tell you how much I respect and appreciate your thoughtful insights. You really caught on to the various layers and meanings. I like texture and the ability to grasp several different emotions within one write; In my own it's often only apparent to myself, so your remarks really hit home with me. It's never been easy for me to sort of rip myself open on the page, but it's definitely easier when like minds like yours stand alongside in encouragement and solidarity. I was totally stoked you liked "Ican'twaittotasteher-isms" and "two-united-weirdo's"... some of my favorites, too.

Much thanks for being here, my friend  
I appreciate you.  
🌹 💙  
B

Another writing masterclass beautiful
Smashed it as always
Love and light
Ron xx

Hey there, Ron :p
Your kindness always leaves me full of confidence and genuine motivation. To read that you found I smashed this one, really makes my worrying over it, feel small and incidental... which I greatly thank you for. Opening up yourself is sometimes scary and you left me feeling safe and secure...  

I'm truly fortunate to have you in my corner, I hope you're feeling better and taking care of you.

Much love and deep appreciation from across the pond ✨ 🌊 ✨

🌹-💙-⚔️
xoxo

I really love this all out assault on how to reframe things.

For myself, my most erotoc poetry gets destroyed.  I write it and burn it. I can write about anything, but there are somethings that even I can't  post.

I don't want to escape or run from my feelings, my true, inner emotions. So, I say it all, to the last droplet on the tip of my tongue, and then.....I set it ablaze.

I do often wish to exchange my own inner musings with someone else, but then there really is ultimately no one who wants to share that, who can listen, who could understand that ferocity.

So, I simply bury it in its own ashes.

I found your piece very personal. No one asks that, ever.

"An assault" was sort of how I mentally attacked it.... which is pretty astute of you, RT.

I get what you're saying a million percent. There will always be writing that I pen which will never go past that initial outpouring. I too, destroy a lot of what I feel is 'too much' to live out loud in the world. Even if it's only myself who sees it. My most intimate and my most taboo. I sometimes take the opportunity to review it few days but in the end, I tend to let it go.....perhaps it comes back to me sometimes as a kind of reincarnation...  

Finding that kinship in nature and want, to me is truly key.... I hope one day that's just a given and not something that I search for.

My biggest and most ardent 'Thank You' for seeing me and understanding me in ways very few do. I am sincerely grateful our paths crossed and that you stopped in today.

It's a true pleasure and a much much needed interaction... (thank you)  
🌹💙
x

it matters not the subject I simply enjoy you use of language...a talented tongue indeed(hehe)...L

Ohhh my, Lawrence... You really caught my attention and I definitely love how you felt my tongue's 'lashing' of words.... can you only imagine... heh heh 😈

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, my dear.... I'm delighted you enjoyed.  

🌹 💙
B

Time heals.  You got people who care for you.  I'm here for you if you need me.  Keep on writing you strong beautiful smart sexy woman.

You're always a rock, Francisco! Thanks for being kind in thought and deed... I adore your presence.

I will continue as long as I'm able!!
🌹 - B

I also adore your presence.  I will continue to your sexy charmer while your panties/thong drop off,  LOL.

Well, Os.... I think I'm rendered speechless! 😶

You saying you're not eloquent enough made me giggle, considering I'm flying high upon the truly lovely and simply pure way you have conveyed yourself. I think it's rare that someone makes you feel seen and understood, which is how left feeling after reading your takeaway...

I am beyond grateful and very thankful.
Much love, Dear Os!!
🌹💙🖤
⑅✩♡ᵗʱᵃᵑᵏઽ*♡♬＊°

You are your truth. Nothing and no-one else. A well wrought reincarnation, indeed. 🌼

Hey there, J
Your reminder of my own truth hits just right and really goes a long way to refresh a genuineness that I really needed to have echoed back to me.
You're a lovely soul and I'm terrifically lucky to have you here with me.

Warmest thanks,
-B
x

The good fortune is mine ~

❦

It's oftentimes difficult for me to publish pieces that have to do with my own intimate failings or successes. It's easier for me in being frank about my fetishistic behavior or general artistically leanings on love and romance than it is to deeply dive into my true emotional health, which is what I hoped to sort of access here. I am sincerely thankful for your generosity in response and kindness in lack of "dissection." To have you visit is a benefit all it's own, much less the comments/list add.

I appreciate you.
🌹-B

Wow - Powerful

You say renovation - I say revolutionary. Evolutionary too - I think that is a word. LOL
This is my first read on this piece so I can't imagine it coming in edited or changed.
Also, honestly loved how it snowballed into cussing at the end. Emphasizing your all
your points on how you feel. Love can do that:)
So enjoyed - thanks for the reincarnation.

Hey there, A
I guess it's a bit hard for me to see the forest for the trees, emotionally I think....Especially when it comes to accessing my deepest places and then finding the wherewithal to publish that journey/information in a way that makes me feel even more vulnerable... which I suppose is sort of the point maybe?... Not sure, but still learning.
I totally love your comments and take heart and strength 💪🏻 from them.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave me your invaluable POV. It means so much to me that you do

Much love, dear lady
🌹 💙
B

Wonderful B...

I very much like the flow and structure,
teaming with imagery and infused with
insight and depth...

I think that words matter...

And it can be good to be with someone
who can see you...

Identify and articulate you...

Articulate you you into somethings anointed by love... Perhaps...

I think in very special...  Transformative circumstances...

My dear dear friend,

You know how you can find yourself way more relieved and excited to see a text, email or phone call from someone that you've been thinking about but didn't realize you were missing as much as you were??.... That's how your comments feel to me... like their own renewal of all I didn't know I was missing terribly until it appeared before me...

Words matter like oxygen itself...

Finding someone who just 'gets  it' and can 'get you' is touching magic and kind of feels like when guessing about secrets of the universe becomes fully knowing... and in understanding that.. is where wonder, beauty and love intrinsically bestow truths among us...we've only to find that outstretched hand.... there waiting...

Are my thoughts.

I cannot properly convey how much I love and missed you and your presence.... Thank you so much for stopping in for this piece, you've really made a difference with such poetically kind and intuitive remarks.

Big ol' hugs,  
🌹
((ღ˘⌣˘)(ू•ᴗ•ू❁))

Your hidden world is revealed in all its glory from minutia to that bold honesty that roars through from the upper shelf where your reach for it successfully to grasp your true nature. And your naked majesty is a wonder to behold through words that tell the story of a woman of courage seeking her inner being that was always there. I am incredibly proud of this poem that bares your soul in admirable ways. The depth here amazes me as I behold your spirit in flight. And the heroinism here gives me much to be proud of you the person you are.

Xo
John

John,
That true nature of mine is often hidden and buried, so unveiling it can be a bit unarming... You generously instill in me such tremendous positivism along with a terrific boost of courageous reinforcement; which makes me forever grateful. I do try to challenge myself a bit, in hopes that what I picture in my head can come together in coherence on the page, when it's something that cuts deep, especially. To have you understand that and know from where it is that I am telling my tale, has me so so lucky. Having you as a sounding board, teacher, friend and muse of sorts, enhances my DUP experience ten fold... or more. Your keen eye sees much and your open compassionate heart beats with immense emotional gravitas. Thank you for your amazing sentiments, to make you proud is truly a day made and a wonderful almost Indescribable feeling!  

Much love, my dear
🌹 💙
-Susan

Dear BV,

“that my heart        
is closed up
locked away high up on a shelf
no, not from you        
away from me” This phrase nearly choked the life out of me. That’s the nugget right there. To protect oneself the body armor that  will do anything to protect the heart. For me, at any rate, I see this as the touchstone of the write. Diving into that mystery alone is a life long job (as I’ve been trying to resign from for decades now)
I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the reflections in this piece as my own. It was so helpful in organizing my own thoughts. Putting perspective on the “why am I like this” question and “where am I going” conundrum.  As per, I can always count on you to keep me in line. Stellar piece. H🌷

Dearest H,

I still get a bit choked up reading it too, I think I always might. I hope that's not egotistical, it's not meant to be. I just mean I get why you feel that line like you do... as I do.... so, big thanks for that.
It's incredible to have you say that this piece was helpful in organizing your own thoughts, I'm beyond grateful that was the case and truly humbled I could assist, even remotely with that categorizing. Your thoughts and perspectives mean the world to me, and I'm always so moved by your own openness, in sharing yourself.
Thank you, Honoria... sincerely.

🌹 💙
B

Powerful words, they draw the reader in. You can't turn away. emotions run with honesty. Thank you for sharing this.
Regards
James

Hi, James,
The fact that you've found power here within my words really helps to motivate me by inspiring my courage a bit. I adore you being here with me and very much appreciate your thoughtful point of view.

Much love and respect,
🌹 💙
B

I am deeply honored by such hefty praise, Mr Pitt, thank you, muchly

It means a lot coming from a legend like yourself!


(seriously, thanks, Tim!)
🌹 💙
B

I’m perplexed if you are writing about you and a past lover, or two persons within yourself.  The adventurous, risk taking, confident, emotion giving persona versus the practical, private, guarded, and emotionally safe persona.

“..my heart is closed up locked away high up on a shelf…”  - With your heart locked away, you can’t be hurt. (1) Giving it to a lover who doesn’t cherish the gift resulting in emotional hurt, or (2) pursuing a passion (like writing) and feeling you somehow are unworthy (which you are not).

You end with learning (wisdom) from your past experiences and gathering up the courage and self-confidence to take on your next chapter as a warrior. Live and learn. The picture would suggest you are leaving your shackles (burdens) behind.

Typically, your brilliant intricate writing is above my serf level comprehension. So, hopefully I kicked the can in the right places.

They are mostly thoughts of me wondering about another... there are moments when I could possibly imagine some lines being construed as two different facets of myself talking to one another but that wasn't my mindset, no.... yet I find it an intriguing idea, of course...  

I beg to differ... about not feeling pain when a heart is set aside. It's put away, because it's so painful and I put my heart up on shelf not away from that other person but out of reach from myself, to avoid all together, me possibly handing it out, in folly; battering it all the more .... It can be hurt, no matter the height of the shelf or the walls I build ... is what I've learned.

To worry more about me and my own mental health wellness and what makes me happiest, is what my ending was to be.... freeing my true self as opposed to the one I tried to mold myself into. So, instead of first trying to make someone else happy, it's about me being happy first and foremost. Where investing all my energy and time into something that's not giving me what I need and is in fact, an almost parasitic type of partnership dawns on me as being as toxic as it was....  

Yes, you totally understand what I meant but regardless, I feel poetry is subjective and it's up to the reader to take from it what it is they might need, enjoy or fingers crossed 🤞🏻, admire....

Your time invested in reading and commenting isn't lost on me, dear Leo.
I'm eternally grateful and 100% adore you being here with me, leaving me your valuable thoughts and perspectives.  

A big thanks and even bigger hugs and kisses sent your way...  
🌹💙
-💋

You need to publish a book and definitely add this. Holy fuck blue u are so talented.
I’m going to read it again and then add another comment be right back xo

If I thought I knew you before I really know you now. it’s difficult for me to articulate into words how I’m feeling right now but I will tell you this.  I am blown the fuck away! Truly. You are so gifted with the way you express yourself and moreso that rhyme scheme is absolute perfection! And u say you can’t rhyme, yeah right. Your rhyme scheme here is sick girl, brilliant in fact!  
This poem is genuine and written with such class and beauty. I can only hope you collect your best pieces along with this one and publish already. I want a book of yours in my room in my hands you are quite incredible don’t ever ever doubt that lady ♥️ everything written here I’m not sure if they’re metaphors or if it is speaking of past love and other things all combined , like you said reflection. Regardless to what I think of the message I’m getting, it’s just perfect I love to hear you speak especially like this .  
 
Love this to my soul  
Hey print this and mail it to me for real like mail it to my apartment I’ll text you my address I want to put it on my wall I fucking love it ❤️  
Always your sister jackie  
 
I’ll take it to Staples and have it made pretty and frame it! Yay! Make sure you sign it with an artistic style signature and date it ! Wow I have original from Bluevelvete can’t wait!

Wow, wow, wow!
This is seriously the most amazingly considerate and genuinely kind feedback I've ever received. Talk about being blown away!! I am still speechless and totally humbled, Jackie.

I am beyond proper words... not being able to find anything to say that that would do justice to how you've made me feel. Just know that you've made my day,(possibkt by week!) my friend. I am sincerely appreciative and so so grateful for you. I deeply adore that you enjoyed this piece like you have. It's one that wasn't easy for me to put out into the public sphere, so you really made that trepidation I felt doing so, much much easier.

I'll see about getting you a signed 'original'!! 👍🏻  

Love you to pieces, lady!
A million thank you's —
🌹💙 💙 💙🌹
-B

Too much to digest in a single sitting.
I’ll be re-reading this many times.
Wonderful.
❣️🙏

You move me, KP.
Thanks for seeing what it is you see and understanding what it is that you do.

I feel truly lucky to have you visit me here.
🌹💙
B

Hi Blue,
How's Ru?

Very gorgeous.

Take care.
X

Hey there lovely... I'm delighted you think so.

There's a lot here to digest, so I very much appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts as well as the generous list add.

Your comments are very helpful and always welcomed

Be well and be safe out there,
🌹 💙
B

Oh dear Blue, you continue to amaze us with poetic spills, musings and wonderful insight in the spirit of personal development. You truly keep raising the bar, showing prowess and perception. Each stanza, the way it begins is so casual and classical, as I’ve said before, repetition really drives the feels deep when reading it, it become a very relatable.

Outstanding work.

In recovery we have a saying about fear:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Well done, my dear

hugs,
buddhakitty.

What an acronym, indeed... 100% noted.

💙💙💙