Unattainable?

I think there's always scars even when one has achieved dreams  - assuming, of course, that I've interpreted this correctly.

Being happy and/ or free of my own personal demons is such a fragile thing.  As soon as I feel euphoric about something, I start feeling dread as well.  Mostly because it can't last, but also because something within me can't distinguish between or cope with strong emotions.

That sounds so like me.

Artistic temperament!!
I'm elusive about my MH diagnoses, but none of it is hard to figure out!  I do behave like the Duracell Bunny, and at my best am silly, giggly and over-enthusiastic.  People often think I'm bipolar, and try to convince me!  I can see why they think that, but I'm not.

I think the more you go through the more difficult it is to not have some level of fear, misgiving, caution comingle with the good things when they happen. The more punches you take, the more you try to protect yourself from them. I think that's just natural. I like this because it captures all of that so succinctly.

Thank you. I'm so pleased to be maybe verging on normal!

There's no such thing as normal, though, not really. Everyone has stuff simmering under the surface, and the idea of normal shifts with time, with culture. We're sold on some idea of normal, because it's a simple ideal. Doesn't require much brain work, and who wouldn't like things to be easier? Sorry... bit of a tangent.

This reminded me of an article I read not too long ago, and I'll leave that here if you're interested:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20191008-why-the-normal-brain-is-just-a-myth

Thank, I will take a look.

Hello, Elle
I'm finally getting acquainted with your verse.
This piece touched me deeply. With much trepidation and mistrust I experience happiness. I wish I didn't. And sadness, although maybe not pathological, in me, is endemic.

continue trying

Trying to write?  Or trying to attain some kind of emotional acceptance?

What makes life difficult at times, seldom are there absolutes.  There are always grey areas.  It is also a perspective, the human search for greener pastures.  You may not be happy in your current situation, but someone in an impoverished nation would look at your current circumstances and want that.

Enjoyed your poem, and it made me ponder.

Oh yes, I can relate to this. I tend toward the extremes.... and sometimes it's just a jumble of feelings I can't sort through. Working on it....
Nicely expressed. 👍
❤️k