too much too much

I long to be numb
Where's the off button?
Can't turn down the voices
Or tune out the sensations of living
Rough, soft, fuzzy, flat, smooth
All I want to cut off my skin
It's all too much for me
The fantasy of feeling nothing
Goes deeper than just not wanting emotions
I don't want to be hungry, thirsty
So tired of being overwhelmed by sounds
The world is too much all of the time
And then there's the horror of silence
There's no escape of this maze of existence
You do or you don't exist in this world
But I wish I could pause just to have a breath