deepundergroundpoetry.com
This Night
The beast clawing his way out of me tonight
Emotions are swirling, memories of yelling, and another bad fight.
Pacing in circles, pulling at my hair
Broken glass on the floor, a broken bookshelf, a thrown deskchair.
People in my room, trying calm me down and talk to me
But right now, "calm" is something that I cannot be.
Alone later once again, oblivious to their phone call
Minutes later, a knock on my door, voices down the hall.
Security patrol telling of a report they received that I might cause myself harm
Even though the last thing on my mind that night was cutting or burning my arm.
I hear them telling me that as a precaution, I have to go with them to the ER
I almost can't believe this is happening; it's like I'm watching all this from afar.
They escort me through the double doors, and my nostrils flare from that hospital smell
With each step that echoes down the empty halls, I feel as if I'm passing through the gates of hell.
They put me in a small secluded room, with two lights that shine bright
As I look around, I see white lights, white shelves, white walls, nothing but blinding white.
A doctor buttons a blue bracelet around my wrist, and informs me that for the night, here I will stay
An IV is inserted into my vein, and slowly the minutes begin to slip away.
Nurses and doctors come and go, but all I see is the same fake grin on different faces
They turn on their little monitor, and I watch the pattern of my heartbeat as it races.
The deafening silence is overwhelming, not a sound reaches my ears
I'm just alone in this white room, filled with different emotions and new fears.
Finally, my emotions pour forth from me, and as I lay there alone I begin to weep
An eternity later, I manage to close my eyes, and soon after fall into a restless sleep.
Emotions are swirling, memories of yelling, and another bad fight.
Pacing in circles, pulling at my hair
Broken glass on the floor, a broken bookshelf, a thrown deskchair.
People in my room, trying calm me down and talk to me
But right now, "calm" is something that I cannot be.
Alone later once again, oblivious to their phone call
Minutes later, a knock on my door, voices down the hall.
Security patrol telling of a report they received that I might cause myself harm
Even though the last thing on my mind that night was cutting or burning my arm.
I hear them telling me that as a precaution, I have to go with them to the ER
I almost can't believe this is happening; it's like I'm watching all this from afar.
They escort me through the double doors, and my nostrils flare from that hospital smell
With each step that echoes down the empty halls, I feel as if I'm passing through the gates of hell.
They put me in a small secluded room, with two lights that shine bright
As I look around, I see white lights, white shelves, white walls, nothing but blinding white.
A doctor buttons a blue bracelet around my wrist, and informs me that for the night, here I will stay
An IV is inserted into my vein, and slowly the minutes begin to slip away.
Nurses and doctors come and go, but all I see is the same fake grin on different faces
They turn on their little monitor, and I watch the pattern of my heartbeat as it races.
The deafening silence is overwhelming, not a sound reaches my ears
I'm just alone in this white room, filled with different emotions and new fears.
Finally, my emotions pour forth from me, and as I lay there alone I begin to weep
An eternity later, I manage to close my eyes, and soon after fall into a restless sleep.
Published 17th Mar 2012
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Anonymous
- Edited 17th Mar 2012 11:30pm
17th Mar 2012 11:29pm
Anger plus memories of what once was causes fear. I am hoping that the road you once went down is no where near. Such a talent capturing it so well in words!
18th Mar 2012 00:10am
Thank you Milkyway! Actually, this happened to me last weekend...what I didn't add is that the girl I got into the argument with is throwing false assault charges at me, so I had to also undergo NCIS and CID talking to me...could be getting out of the Navy for "treatment failure" if my command sees this as the therapy not working.
Anonymous
18th Mar 2012 1:54am
:( I am sorry you are goin through the bullshit Caleb. Just keep your head up and stay strong
18th Mar 2012 9:43am
It's alright, if I get out, then I'll just start my next chapter of life back home sooner than expected lol. Thank you :)
10th Jul 2012 3:17am
aww I'm sorry you have this hell in your soul and mind ... blessings to you it has made you an amazing writer
10th Jul 2012 4:39pm
