Doctors Orders!

(Me at the doctors)
Doctor. " How did you break your big toe?"
Me "Well it happened, when i took
one of my hot water bottles to the bathroom"
Doctor "One of your hot water bottles?"
Me "Yes!" (and thinking the doctor would
instantly understand my humour) said "Yes,
i normally sleep with two hot water bottles,
 a kind of rubbery menage a trois!"
At this point, the good doctor, stared at me with horror
Me. "I took one of the bottles with me, as it was going cold,
And i simply was going to empty it, into the bath, which is by the
toilet. then leave it hanging on the side of the bath, where i'd be
sitting on the toilet!"
Doctor "Sitting?"
Me "I can't go to the loo any other way?"
Me "Anyway, the lid from aforementioned bottle fell,
and landed awkwardly on my toe, and somehow broke it.
I knew then, that something was afoot!"
Doctor "Afoot?"
Me "Sorry, i was trying to make light of the situation!"
Doctor" You need to go for an X-ray!"
Me " Yes, i know, i realise that, but the main reason i'm here,
is for a psychological problem that's bothering me!"
Doctor " Psychological problem?"
Me "Yes! I think i'm a pair of curtains!"
Doctor. "Get out !!!!!"

by Jemia