deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sonnet 1
Thankful my soul for the tears you pick up
Take my burdens with talks of tomorrow
Shining's a sea overflowing with love
Wash me away, the tide takes my sorrows
Wherever you point a way is painted
Guess I'm the fool who can only follow
My heart is full though my mind has fainted
A lost sheep because my head is hollow
I am no puppet, no man pulls my strings
You numbed my brain but it can recover
This modern girl with confusing feelings
Is more than her heart more than a lover
My dearest, my muse, do not leave my days
Let my head stay empty, now and always
Take my burdens with talks of tomorrow
Shining's a sea overflowing with love
Wash me away, the tide takes my sorrows
Wherever you point a way is painted
Guess I'm the fool who can only follow
My heart is full though my mind has fainted
A lost sheep because my head is hollow
I am no puppet, no man pulls my strings
You numbed my brain but it can recover
This modern girl with confusing feelings
Is more than her heart more than a lover
My dearest, my muse, do not leave my days
Let my head stay empty, now and always
Published 21st May 2022
| Edited 3rd Jun 2022
Author's Note
So this is my first real sonnet. I hope I have followed the rules correctly, but at the end of the day, poetry is more about expressing than it is about rules right? But if someone has a technical tip for this particular form of writing that would be appreciated.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 332
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Jun 2022 2:53am
20th Jun 2022 7:16am
Hoi hoi
Hope this finds you well.
Personally, I never cared too much for rules. I am (sort of) famous for my Olleke Bollekes (higgledy pickeldies) and even there I tend to ignore the rules.
So technically, I can’t be your judge. But you ring a very true bell, a very human tale! And a beautiful poem. What more can only one ask from a poet?
I hope to read more from you!
And thank you for posting it.
Kind regards, Gus
Hope this finds you well.
Personally, I never cared too much for rules. I am (sort of) famous for my Olleke Bollekes (higgledy pickeldies) and even there I tend to ignore the rules.
So technically, I can’t be your judge. But you ring a very true bell, a very human tale! And a beautiful poem. What more can only one ask from a poet?
I hope to read more from you!
And thank you for posting it.
Kind regards, Gus
