deepundergroundpoetry.com
5 Magical Things To Say
[ with 6 minimal explanations ]
"I love you"
a phrase often misunderstood
especially when the intentions
in the history were good
"Me too"
I say to the world of waves
-of arrows and punk like
mohicans, which also save
"New shoes"
an answer to stains
when polishing reflections
in the mirrors of pain
"Teenagers"
is all we were then
adolescents who hadn't yet
understood, the importance of zen
"New Life"
the competitive edge
with time we have learned
-no need to jump from the ledge
"Me Too"
is all I have to say to you
and them, with a open heart
it's time to join the magical crew
"I love you"
a phrase often misunderstood
especially when the intentions
in the history were good
"Me too"
I say to the world of waves
-of arrows and punk like
mohicans, which also save
"New shoes"
an answer to stains
when polishing reflections
in the mirrors of pain
"Teenagers"
is all we were then
adolescents who hadn't yet
understood, the importance of zen
"New Life"
the competitive edge
with time we have learned
-no need to jump from the ledge
"Me Too"
is all I have to say to you
and them, with a open heart
it's time to join the magical crew
Published 9th May 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 611
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Man, do your little magical morsels feed the beast of imagination and inspiration, Al!
I often find minimalism difficult to write myself because I'm totally prone to flowery prose (I cop to it freely!!.. Lol) so when I get such thoughtful little gut punches felt from so little, I'm always left pretty wowed by that capability.
Each 'thing' you say seems like purposeful and progressive learning points... perhaps crossroads reached by a life lived so far...I felt their pixie dust! ... poignantly, brilliant little stream of consciousness 'itemized' lessons...resonated deep .... reminding me, perfectly.
A great read to start my week!
Thank you for sharing your pen with us-
🌹 - 💙
B
I often find minimalism difficult to write myself because I'm totally prone to flowery prose (I cop to it freely!!.. Lol) so when I get such thoughtful little gut punches felt from so little, I'm always left pretty wowed by that capability.
Each 'thing' you say seems like purposeful and progressive learning points... perhaps crossroads reached by a life lived so far...I felt their pixie dust! ... poignantly, brilliant little stream of consciousness 'itemized' lessons...resonated deep .... reminding me, perfectly.
A great read to start my week!
Thank you for sharing your pen with us-
🌹 - 💙
B
10th May 2022 9:02am
Hello Mrs Velvete
Thank you for everything you have said here. Every word means the world!
This quote makes my day!
"A great read to start my week!"
I like to experiment in my writing, I like to push my boundaries and I very much go through stages, at the moment the concept of every word having a purpose is very much the style I'm working on. My DU journey has very much enjoyed trying new exciting things. Some years ago I went down a similar route and I was useless at the reduced words, so I reckon some maturity helps.
I'm glad you found something to take with you
thank you for your support and kind comments.
Al
Thank you for everything you have said here. Every word means the world!
This quote makes my day!
"A great read to start my week!"
I like to experiment in my writing, I like to push my boundaries and I very much go through stages, at the moment the concept of every word having a purpose is very much the style I'm working on. My DU journey has very much enjoyed trying new exciting things. Some years ago I went down a similar route and I was useless at the reduced words, so I reckon some maturity helps.
I'm glad you found something to take with you
thank you for your support and kind comments.
Al
9th May 2022 2:22pm
Dear A,
I found myself nodding my head in agreement as I read each stanza. “"I love you"
a phrase often misunderstood” this phrase especially hit home. Each of these musings are nuggets of great reflection and I really took to them, some personal meaning, that will definitely alter my outlook today. Powerful write.
H🌷
I found myself nodding my head in agreement as I read each stanza. “"I love you"
a phrase often misunderstood” this phrase especially hit home. Each of these musings are nuggets of great reflection and I really took to them, some personal meaning, that will definitely alter my outlook today. Powerful write.
H🌷
10th May 2022 9:04am
Hello H
Good to have you back, Its lovely to your voice at it. I love your comments, I love that you found little somethings to take with you and I am extremely grateful that my words had any effect on your day!
Blue skies at you
Al
Good to have you back, Its lovely to your voice at it. I love your comments, I love that you found little somethings to take with you and I am extremely grateful that my words had any effect on your day!
Blue skies at you
Al
Anonymous
9th May 2022 2:58pm
<< post removed >>
10th May 2022 9:07am
Hey Mr. Sawyer
Thank you for visiting, reading and putting your thoughts to my words.
Ahh, crossroads are familiar, the thing is to follow the path you know is right! I'm glad these little bits leave some form of perspective.
Stay well man
Blue Skies at you!
Al
Thank you for visiting, reading and putting your thoughts to my words.
Ahh, crossroads are familiar, the thing is to follow the path you know is right! I'm glad these little bits leave some form of perspective.
Stay well man
Blue Skies at you!
Al
Anonymous
- Edited 19th Feb 2023 9:45pm
9th May 2022 6:28pm
<< post removed >>
10th May 2022 9:12am
Hello
Welcome to my pages, not sure you've visited before.
I thank you for reading me, and I thank you for saying how the read makes you feel!
My writing journey on this small part of the interweb is very much an experimental space. I love trying new things, watching how the words land and how they are received. I'm convinced that is a huge part of the process of literary evolution. I'm so pleased you see that and that it is conveyed in the reading.
Thank you so much for your insightful comment. I do enjoy your writing and live reads, so this feedback means the world to me!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Welcome to my pages, not sure you've visited before.
I thank you for reading me, and I thank you for saying how the read makes you feel!
My writing journey on this small part of the interweb is very much an experimental space. I love trying new things, watching how the words land and how they are received. I'm convinced that is a huge part of the process of literary evolution. I'm so pleased you see that and that it is conveyed in the reading.
Thank you so much for your insightful comment. I do enjoy your writing and live reads, so this feedback means the world to me!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Anonymous
- Edited 9th May 2022 7:41pm
9th May 2022 7:40pm
Hullo
So I read this one this morning, but then had to go and do some adultier adulthood at work. So now I can spend some time on it.
I love the stripped back approach on this. I think it’s kind of bold for you really, because you do love a description. So I found this quite refreshing.
Of course, I agree with the I love you thing.
Sometimes I love you can sound like “I hope you eat enough today” or “I hope you drink enough water” or “Stay safe”. A lot of people take love to mean romantic love and that’s not always the case. Sometimes you just genuinely care about a person and want them to be alright. Society twists that a lot, and it’s always upsetting.
Maybe they should try hate instead… heh.
The fact you’ve mentioned “me too” twice is interesting. It’s almost like you’re affirming it to yourself and everyone else around you. I liked that, it was a very human edge to this piece.
I’m glad that teenagers and new life are next to each other. They almost feel like direct echoes, and I really appreciated that about this piece.
As a collection, I think they work very well together. Like little snippets of time and I really enjoyed that about this piece.
Thank you for sharing this one.
-M
So I read this one this morning, but then had to go and do some adultier adulthood at work. So now I can spend some time on it.
I love the stripped back approach on this. I think it’s kind of bold for you really, because you do love a description. So I found this quite refreshing.
Of course, I agree with the I love you thing.
Sometimes I love you can sound like “I hope you eat enough today” or “I hope you drink enough water” or “Stay safe”. A lot of people take love to mean romantic love and that’s not always the case. Sometimes you just genuinely care about a person and want them to be alright. Society twists that a lot, and it’s always upsetting.
Maybe they should try hate instead… heh.
The fact you’ve mentioned “me too” twice is interesting. It’s almost like you’re affirming it to yourself and everyone else around you. I liked that, it was a very human edge to this piece.
I’m glad that teenagers and new life are next to each other. They almost feel like direct echoes, and I really appreciated that about this piece.
As a collection, I think they work very well together. Like little snippets of time and I really enjoyed that about this piece.
Thank you for sharing this one.
-M
10th May 2022 9:20am
Hello Missy Miss
It's special having your comment print on this piece. I feel very much like this was a wave of emotional introspection related to a long haul of writing and self evaluation.
Me Too is twice for completely different reasons and I nearly had the second one as "I also feel" but it felt a little unattached.
That thing you say about hate, I suppose metaphorically me too fits there well too. It's magical really.
Interestingly this piece was inspired originally as an answer to someone and ended up standing so well on its own that the inspiration didn't need to come up. I suppose that's part of the wonder of the stripped back form.
I'm fairly sure "the less is more" is something I like working with at the moment, so we'll keep at it and see where the journey takes us!
Thank you for being here! For saying your feelings and for being awesome!
Al
It's special having your comment print on this piece. I feel very much like this was a wave of emotional introspection related to a long haul of writing and self evaluation.
Me Too is twice for completely different reasons and I nearly had the second one as "I also feel" but it felt a little unattached.
That thing you say about hate, I suppose metaphorically me too fits there well too. It's magical really.
Interestingly this piece was inspired originally as an answer to someone and ended up standing so well on its own that the inspiration didn't need to come up. I suppose that's part of the wonder of the stripped back form.
I'm fairly sure "the less is more" is something I like working with at the moment, so we'll keep at it and see where the journey takes us!
Thank you for being here! For saying your feelings and for being awesome!
Al
