A Murder's Beginnings

I feel it rising from down in my solar plexus,
The desire, disastrous,
Dark, creepy, frightening, dangerous,
It may seem a bit odd,
The need to play god,
But I want to feel the power surge through my body,
Something I'll have done to somebody.
I don't feel the same sometimes,
It used to frighten me at times,
But now, I feel it with pride,
I want to go along for the ride,
Let these feelings take control,
Let it briefly guide my soul,
Then when I'm done, pretend it never happened,
While everyone else is saddened,
I'll only pretend so,
And hopefully these feelings will forever go.