deepundergroundpoetry.com
Make The Bed Sing German.
. wrote my name
in tongue, over your chest
heavy breathing
a heart emoji
on your left breast
san script
lips
finding the crease in your neck, locking palms
into heaven
as I learn to translate
each heavy breath
s h I v e r I n g
.-...- .-....----... I l o V e Y o U
in morse code ...-.-...
invisible ink
from your
wildest drop
of
S w e a t
breathing
sex
before we
S t O p
to make
l o v e
eloquent
written decadent
read in sentiment
as your eyes roll back and your toes curl
a whisper in your
E A R !
"There is
n o t h I n g to
fear "
Published 13th Apr 2022
| Edited 14th Apr 2022
Author's Note
Love you wifey ❤
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 8
reads 357
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
13th Apr 2022 4:23pm
Ho-lee crap. Even I stopped and lit a cigarette. 🤣
Sometimes I don’t like poems that overuse pretty effects because it sometimes detracts from the words, but I think the formatting here works well. It feels very staccato, highly resembling breathing. And in that regards, works.
The German part was somewhat of a mystery. Eine schande. But then I think back to my trips to Berlin, and how beautiful the city is. And maybe it works in a metaphorical way.
Thanks for sharing this one.
-M
Sometimes I don’t like poems that overuse pretty effects because it sometimes detracts from the words, but I think the formatting here works well. It feels very staccato, highly resembling breathing. And in that regards, works.
The German part was somewhat of a mystery. Eine schande. But then I think back to my trips to Berlin, and how beautiful the city is. And maybe it works in a metaphorical way.
Thanks for sharing this one.
-M
14th Apr 2022 9:14am
hello
glad to have provided some enjoyment ;)
As you know, I've been playing with style, form and type of poetry of late. I think the problem with effects is the understanding that they have their place. I realized recently that the reader can only relate to the metaphor in formatting if the format applies to the content and the poem it is used on benefits from it.
It's interesting actually that I fell on a convo from the past recently where Danny Saxman was explaining to Ray, how the meter worked in his poems. now there you have it, did you even realise that old geezer had sylable counts and meter in his poems.... and that be the reason people couldn't understand why they loved it so much.
yeah the German reference is a little personal, while I think we okay dropping our evening on the page and bringing readers into our bedroom, (oh the exhibition fantasy lol) um unsure if explanation might overstep the mark. But it is pretty on the page!
thanks for reading it, and having your say
Al
P.S. That Poetcast thing is the single largest contribution to this website, keep doing it, it is magnificent!
glad to have provided some enjoyment ;)
As you know, I've been playing with style, form and type of poetry of late. I think the problem with effects is the understanding that they have their place. I realized recently that the reader can only relate to the metaphor in formatting if the format applies to the content and the poem it is used on benefits from it.
It's interesting actually that I fell on a convo from the past recently where Danny Saxman was explaining to Ray, how the meter worked in his poems. now there you have it, did you even realise that old geezer had sylable counts and meter in his poems.... and that be the reason people couldn't understand why they loved it so much.
yeah the German reference is a little personal, while I think we okay dropping our evening on the page and bringing readers into our bedroom, (oh the exhibition fantasy lol) um unsure if explanation might overstep the mark. But it is pretty on the page!
thanks for reading it, and having your say
Al
P.S. That Poetcast thing is the single largest contribution to this website, keep doing it, it is magnificent!
Anonymous
14th Apr 2022 9:20am
1. Thanks for your comments on the pod. It’s one of my favourite achievements here.
2. … I swear to God, if you’re over there singing Springtime For Hitler in the middle of it, I am outta here, man. 🤣🤣🤣
[/jokes]
2. … I swear to God, if you’re over there singing Springtime For Hitler in the middle of it, I am outta here, man. 🤣🤣🤣
[/jokes]
I've said this before, but it bears repeating: you write erotic poetry very well, in the sense of "erotic" meaning that which is related to the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that make sexual interaction truly satisfying, on a human as opposed to just impulsive level. I can see why you label these poems "love", given the unfortunate pornographic context of "erotic" on this site and elsewhere. The way you use visual as well as textual elements here is very effective, evoking the adrenaline and urgency and need of a sexual encounter.
I've said this before, you are without doubt one of the best comment writers on this website, and have been for as long as I've known you!
I've been wondering of late if it is possible to sell real estate if one has never bought a house? To continue the line of thinking, can a poet be truly erotic on the page, having never felt the shear beauty of sensuality, sexuality, and love rolled into a single breath, that climaxes from the acts of a couple (ie. not one party or the other, both) so while a glimpse of bedroom love is the how I perceive the depth of it, Love & Lust (as you so aptly pointed out in a recent work) definitely go hand in hand.
To get a little philosophical about it, if we write for readers, with the intention that someone will read our works, does it not stand to reason that we may be lustfully making love to them at the time of reading? if that is the case, popping some pornhub on the page in a 20 second "flash quickie" is possibly a insult to their intellect.
All of the above is as ever just my humble opinion. who knows if I am right or wrong.
Thanks so musch for your thoughtful comment!
Al
P.S. I loved that Poet-cast last night, congratulations on your contribution, which I thought was relevant and insightful.
I've been wondering of late if it is possible to sell real estate if one has never bought a house? To continue the line of thinking, can a poet be truly erotic on the page, having never felt the shear beauty of sensuality, sexuality, and love rolled into a single breath, that climaxes from the acts of a couple (ie. not one party or the other, both) so while a glimpse of bedroom love is the how I perceive the depth of it, Love & Lust (as you so aptly pointed out in a recent work) definitely go hand in hand.
To get a little philosophical about it, if we write for readers, with the intention that someone will read our works, does it not stand to reason that we may be lustfully making love to them at the time of reading? if that is the case, popping some pornhub on the page in a 20 second "flash quickie" is possibly a insult to their intellect.
All of the above is as ever just my humble opinion. who knows if I am right or wrong.
Thanks so musch for your thoughtful comment!
Al
P.S. I loved that Poet-cast last night, congratulations on your contribution, which I thought was relevant and insightful.
Thank you for your kind words and a fascinating response, which has given me something to think about. The definition of "making love", as in how you define it, is important. In the novel Emma, by Jane Austen, the vicar is said to be "violently making love" (paraphrased) to Emma in a carriage, which is a funny image when you think of it in terms of physicality and practicality. But really what was meant was that he was passionately professing his affection for her. His words related to love had a deep and powerful effect on her (even if she didn't return his affection), just like effective erotic poetry, and just like an effective erotic experience, regardless of how physical it is or isn't.
Ohh my my my!!
I'm an enormous fan of adding texture, movement and creativity to the formatting of poems. Not all, but I think certain pieces benefit greatly with that added layer of creativity, allowing the poem to become a bit more alive—like breathing artwork. It adds such a pleasurable feel of wonder and depth, not gratuitous but more instinctually artful, which is what I feel you've accomplished so incredibly well, here, Al.
Your poem is chock-full... it's a true bevy of undulating emotion, tasteful headiness and the cutest abundance of tenderness... It's a very essence that just lovingly just wraps it's arms around the reader....
I was completely charmed!
Another brill read, imo
Thank you so very much for the shared peek into the warmth you've genuinely emanated.
Much love and continued poetic movements your way ✨ 💫 ✨
🌹 - 💙
B
I'm an enormous fan of adding texture, movement and creativity to the formatting of poems. Not all, but I think certain pieces benefit greatly with that added layer of creativity, allowing the poem to become a bit more alive—like breathing artwork. It adds such a pleasurable feel of wonder and depth, not gratuitous but more instinctually artful, which is what I feel you've accomplished so incredibly well, here, Al.
Your poem is chock-full... it's a true bevy of undulating emotion, tasteful headiness and the cutest abundance of tenderness... It's a very essence that just lovingly just wraps it's arms around the reader....
I was completely charmed!
Another brill read, imo
Thank you so very much for the shared peek into the warmth you've genuinely emanated.
Much love and continued poetic movements your way ✨ 💫 ✨
🌹 - 💙
B
14th Apr 2022 9:34am
Oh Mrs Velvet
You had me at "Ohh my my my!! " ;)
I'm so pleased the formatting works for you, I've discussed it quite extensively above, so I'm not going to repeat. But will say the fact it works for you is solace enough!
Your comment is just filled with compliments but to be honest the part where you say it has value to a reader. Well fuckedy fuck! Tht means more to me than any thing can! Thank you for that, it holds place in the heart.
I'm so grateful to have you reading me, I'm so thankful that you say how the poetry feels to you and I'm comforted in having you as one I can call a friend. like the two poets above your comment, I have the utmost respect for you and your POV. Thank you!
Blue Skies @ You Madam
Al
You had me at "Ohh my my my!! " ;)
I'm so pleased the formatting works for you, I've discussed it quite extensively above, so I'm not going to repeat. But will say the fact it works for you is solace enough!
Your comment is just filled with compliments but to be honest the part where you say it has value to a reader. Well fuckedy fuck! Tht means more to me than any thing can! Thank you for that, it holds place in the heart.
I'm so grateful to have you reading me, I'm so thankful that you say how the poetry feels to you and I'm comforted in having you as one I can call a friend. like the two poets above your comment, I have the utmost respect for you and your POV. Thank you!
Blue Skies @ You Madam
Al
