I don't want to go out today

You think it's because I'm asocial
and never want to do anything,
but that isn't wholly true.
Were I the kicking, screaming type,
you'd have to drag me out the door
while I caused a massive scene.
Instead, I silently seethe.

Outside, it's bright and cold.
The streets are full of people—
each the protagonist in their own story.
Real people, real lives, real worries,
running errands, browsing shops, buying shoes.

The brightness, the cold
and especially the people
jar with my already jangled nerves
and then it dawns on me:
the reason I don't want to be here.
It's a large, harsh dose of Reality,
hot on the heels of the reality
that I'm already trying to deal with.
The reality of parenting, of bills,
of workplace frustrations, of death.

Leave me to my books,
my cyber-friendships, words and dreams—
I've had enough reality for today.