deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dezba goes to War
War paint horse alone
Her thundering throne
Nations in motion
Dust storms as omens
Weaponed with crossbows
Shooting metal tipped arrows
Multiple hidden knives as allies
Around each of her thighs
Spirit animal fox beauty queen
Ruler of the red castle
Multiple heads dripping
On the spiked wooden mantle
Above the flaming fireplace
By the death saint’s face
Sharpening a baptized tomahawk
Dead before you run or walk
Toppling new world civilizations
Dragging hell into revolutions
Headdress and galloping hooves
First Nations always understood
The will to reign covered with
Charcoal paint and blood rain
Dezba goes to War
Her thundering throne
Nations in motion
Dust storms as omens
Weaponed with crossbows
Shooting metal tipped arrows
Multiple hidden knives as allies
Around each of her thighs
Spirit animal fox beauty queen
Ruler of the red castle
Multiple heads dripping
On the spiked wooden mantle
Above the flaming fireplace
By the death saint’s face
Sharpening a baptized tomahawk
Dead before you run or walk
Toppling new world civilizations
Dragging hell into revolutions
Headdress and galloping hooves
First Nations always understood
The will to reign covered with
Charcoal paint and blood rain
Dezba goes to War
Published 20th Feb 2022
Author's Note
This is kinda like a character sketch on a project I have been working on for a few years.
The name Dezba comes from Navajo origins for female. It literally means goes to war.
Her spirit animal is the fox.
She also has two other brothers.
Oldest is Chev- mountain lion spirit animal
youngest is Yuma - crow spirit animal
Kinda blocked at the moment so this is for me to get kickstarted. Doing a fight scene with her alongside her older brother. Ughhh. I'll get through it but just frustrating.
The name Dezba comes from Navajo origins for female. It literally means goes to war.
Her spirit animal is the fox.
She also has two other brothers.
Oldest is Chev- mountain lion spirit animal
youngest is Yuma - crow spirit animal
Kinda blocked at the moment so this is for me to get kickstarted. Doing a fight scene with her alongside her older brother. Ughhh. I'll get through it but just frustrating.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 3
comments 14
reads 436
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
20th Feb 2022 4:27am
Brings the mind back to simpler times, purely unadulterated, war, love, fantasy
21st Feb 2022 00:20am
Hi Tim!!
Totally true. The whole concept is about going back to a simpler time.
I'm on page 30 and I just keep staring at it hoping it will talk to me.
But nope. hahah
I'll get it done.
thanks for the RL and commenting:)
Hope you had a great weekend!
Totally true. The whole concept is about going back to a simpler time.
I'm on page 30 and I just keep staring at it hoping it will talk to me.
But nope. hahah
I'll get it done.
thanks for the RL and commenting:)
Hope you had a great weekend!
20th Feb 2022 6:07am
So keep at it. Sometimes stories are created from our poems/prose. I've done that myself a few times. A poem can be a foundation for a bigger project, like a story.
It's limitless, creative writing. Go for it!
It's limitless, creative writing. Go for it!
21st Feb 2022 00:25am
Hi Styx!!!
I totally am. Tomorrow I am sitting down with a cup of coffee and not getting up until I have this scene down. I know what comes after. I have all of my notecards done for the whole script but sometimes I get lost in my head. Action for me is hard. Trying to not get confused while writing. Chances are the reader will get confused as well.
It is totally going to be kick ass!!!
The title is called Maralah - means born during an earthquake
Thanks for the pep talk. I needed it!!!
Hope you had a great weekend amigo
I totally am. Tomorrow I am sitting down with a cup of coffee and not getting up until I have this scene down. I know what comes after. I have all of my notecards done for the whole script but sometimes I get lost in my head. Action for me is hard. Trying to not get confused while writing. Chances are the reader will get confused as well.
It is totally going to be kick ass!!!
The title is called Maralah - means born during an earthquake
Thanks for the pep talk. I needed it!!!
Hope you had a great weekend amigo
21st Feb 2022 2:01am
Actually, once I got home last night I worked on a short story that had been in my head awhile. Some ideas where snipped from some of my older poems as well.
A few cups of mocha and too many cigarettes later, I am very proud of it.
So you keep going, too!
A few cups of mocha and too many cigarettes later, I am very proud of it.
So you keep going, too!
20th Feb 2022 8:24am
Dear A,
I don’t know where she’ll end up but she’s out of the gate fierce, noble and a warrior. I like her. I can see she’s fair yet takes no prisoners. Beautiful but doesn’t suffer fools. Sad and can still find joy in the simple things. Looking forward to seeing where you take her. Great write. H🌷
I don’t know where she’ll end up but she’s out of the gate fierce, noble and a warrior. I like her. I can see she’s fair yet takes no prisoners. Beautiful but doesn’t suffer fools. Sad and can still find joy in the simple things. Looking forward to seeing where you take her. Great write. H🌷
21st Feb 2022 00:39am
Hi H!!
She is amazing. Especially with her knives. She does not like guns.
Everything for her is personal. Extremely close with her oldest brother who she is fighting alongside in this scene I'm working on.
I am sitting down tomorrow and just pushing through. I have an friend who will take a look at it when I'm done to see if it is too busy or confusing. Thank you so much for giving such great feedback on my stuff.
Hope you had a great weekend H!!!
Thanks for stopping by and the RL
Woop Woop!!
She is amazing. Especially with her knives. She does not like guns.
Everything for her is personal. Extremely close with her oldest brother who she is fighting alongside in this scene I'm working on.
I am sitting down tomorrow and just pushing through. I have an friend who will take a look at it when I'm done to see if it is too busy or confusing. Thank you so much for giving such great feedback on my stuff.
Hope you had a great weekend H!!!
Thanks for stopping by and the RL
Woop Woop!!
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2022 6:45pm
22nd Feb 2022 5:04am
<< post removed >>
23rd Feb 2022 2:24am
Hi SB2
Thanks for the Wow!! hahah
I listened to the song and sent you a PM. You are so right on.
I can't wait till I get some time to really focus and sit down.
See what happens with this fight scene. Unexpected company showed up and messed with my writing time so I didn't really get to dive in like I wanted. Ughhh.
Thanks for sending me some luck and commenting:)
Thanks for the Wow!! hahah
I listened to the song and sent you a PM. You are so right on.
I can't wait till I get some time to really focus and sit down.
See what happens with this fight scene. Unexpected company showed up and messed with my writing time so I didn't really get to dive in like I wanted. Ughhh.
Thanks for sending me some luck and commenting:)
22nd Feb 2022 10:31am
Dust storms as omens..? (I like that A... Many places you can go with that.)
Knives as allies... (Very cool. All she needs in this life of sin.0
I very much want to visit this Red Castle.
She is a conqueror.
[The will to reign covered with
Charcoal paint and blood rain]
That's totally bad ass.!.
(I totally believe that ideas can be compressed into poetry and expanded into prose and different forms.
And you did splendid, in this regard.)
Do your thing with this thing.
Channel your inner Dezba to the fullest.
You got the goods.
Knives as allies... (Very cool. All she needs in this life of sin.0
I very much want to visit this Red Castle.
She is a conqueror.
[The will to reign covered with
Charcoal paint and blood rain]
That's totally bad ass.!.
(I totally believe that ideas can be compressed into poetry and expanded into prose and different forms.
And you did splendid, in this regard.)
Do your thing with this thing.
Channel your inner Dezba to the fullest.
You got the goods.
23rd Feb 2022 2:40am
Hey Cipher,
I've been working on this off and on for years. I was watching a show called Deadliest Warrior. They basically put all of the characteristics of random fighters in a program and see who would win. The episode I was watching had an Apache Indian vs a Gladiator. Experts on both sides go on the show and explain to the audience - and the computer programmers - how they would fight. I had no idea Apache Indians were so talented with knives. Even to this day they train special forces in the military with their knife skills. If you are within an arms reach of one with a knife a gun doesn't matter. Your dead. They know all of the kill points of the body. You will bleed out in seconds. So yeah - the Gladiator had no chance. The Apache won hands down. hehehe.
That's where I came up with the idea and her thing is knives.
I need to dedicate more time to it then I have been. Was doing great for the month I was gone but I kinda missed the site so I need to find a balance.
Thanks for the pep talk and RL!!
Truly helped:)
Woop Woop
I've been working on this off and on for years. I was watching a show called Deadliest Warrior. They basically put all of the characteristics of random fighters in a program and see who would win. The episode I was watching had an Apache Indian vs a Gladiator. Experts on both sides go on the show and explain to the audience - and the computer programmers - how they would fight. I had no idea Apache Indians were so talented with knives. Even to this day they train special forces in the military with their knife skills. If you are within an arms reach of one with a knife a gun doesn't matter. Your dead. They know all of the kill points of the body. You will bleed out in seconds. So yeah - the Gladiator had no chance. The Apache won hands down. hehehe.
That's where I came up with the idea and her thing is knives.
I need to dedicate more time to it then I have been. Was doing great for the month I was gone but I kinda missed the site so I need to find a balance.
Thanks for the pep talk and RL!!
Truly helped:)
Woop Woop
26th Feb 2022 9:07pm
Don't worry it will come together. I have nine witch sisters to write, but only finished one. Ill send it for you to read if you like.
26th Feb 2022 9:11pm
Hi again:)
Sure. That would be great. I've been working on this project for
so so so long. I have it all down but sometimes I hit a hiccup.
Thanks for the encouragement:)
Sure. That would be great. I've been working on this project for
so so so long. I have it all down but sometimes I hit a hiccup.
Thanks for the encouragement:)
26th Feb 2022 9:16pm
You might already know this. Write the whole story, mistakes and all, everything you want to tell-then edit it. At times you would be surprised how it may come out.
