a sacred understanding in the garden of doubt

 
smile on me oh heaven and show me you care
I crave acceptance in a world I don't quite fit
forgive me if I doubt I would belong with the faithful
my gentle soul has been through hell
I rise up in anger but that's not me either

I'm a stranger in a foreign land
a jilted companion
have you forgotten me?

I knew you Father before I met religion
you are the voice I heard when I took my first steps
no one else saw
you said it would be okay to let go of the wall,
that you would catch me if I fell

then we lost touch and I couldn't hear you anymore
I didn't find your phone number in the book
I called Jesus but no one came
today I hear your voice but it's different then they say

you tell me you're sorry sometimes
you get angry like I do
and when I put myself down you take it personally
it genuinely hurts your feelings
that I think myself so poorly formed

you are the artist
I am the woman you desired
you set me apart
I pray I don't fail you
so in your sanctuary I thank you for my pain
I am grateful it's okay if I admit I'm evil
and unlike my human counterparts you love me anyway

I shine in your beautiful garden dream
I come to you naked and honest
you take me to your breast
and give me succor
in your chambers I'm kept
you get the best of me

I leave my worries at the gate
and enter into an understanding
I am your woman