deepundergroundpoetry.com
Until Tomorrow
Snowflakes
and trails of breath fill the air
Frostbitten cheeks and
conversations about anything
and everything
I've never met anybody who takes
my mind off of life like you
We walk to keep the conversation moving
to keep blood and stimuli flowing
Adding to our time by
seeing things we either
both love or both hate
I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh
You move fast because you
simply want to see everything
before you have to die
I move slowly because we have
control over tonight and I want
it to last as long as it possibly can
We talk about mortality and realize
we're both afraid of the things we can't know
But you dive headlong into that darkness with a torch
and learn everything you can
I go over and over what is here
trying to glean every little detail
Hoping to find a loophole
and in digging through all this mental paperwork
I see your name signed at the bottom of every page
right next to mine
Suddenly I think
all the rest can wait until tomorrow
and I steal a kiss from the cold
and trails of breath fill the air
Frostbitten cheeks and
conversations about anything
and everything
I've never met anybody who takes
my mind off of life like you
We walk to keep the conversation moving
to keep blood and stimuli flowing
Adding to our time by
seeing things we either
both love or both hate
I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh
You move fast because you
simply want to see everything
before you have to die
I move slowly because we have
control over tonight and I want
it to last as long as it possibly can
We talk about mortality and realize
we're both afraid of the things we can't know
But you dive headlong into that darkness with a torch
and learn everything you can
I go over and over what is here
trying to glean every little detail
Hoping to find a loophole
and in digging through all this mental paperwork
I see your name signed at the bottom of every page
right next to mine
Suddenly I think
all the rest can wait until tomorrow
and I steal a kiss from the cold
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likes 14
reading list entries 3
comments 22
reads 1794
Commenting Preference:
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I steal a kiss from the cold
2nd Mar 2012 4:24pm
Pierre.
This is so different to your usual writing style.
you made it work well for you, still has the great story telling quality.
pretty exceptional and a great read.
This is so different to your usual writing style.
you made it work well for you, still has the great story telling quality.
pretty exceptional and a great read.
1
re: I steal a kiss from the cold
2nd Mar 2012 4:30pm
Thanks, man. It's been too long. I finally decided to go back to my unfinished notebooks and try to tie up some of the loose ends. Yeah it is out of my usual style I think that's why it went unfinished for so long. Thanks again for the read. Hopefully it won't be too long before my next one.
Fresh breath
Anonymous
2nd Mar 2012 4:30pm
The imagery is crisp.I see it like I'm actually walking with you hearing these thoughts.It's obvious you realize this gift bestowed upon you.I wish the both of you the best.
1
re: Fresh breath
13th Jun 2013 6:00am
Thank you, Michael. We are doing well and this is just a glimpse. Thank you for the read.
La
2nd Mar 2012 7:13pm
Innocent, it's spell-binding, it wraps around you like a coat from the cold. Eloquent yet easy read.
1
re: La
3rd Mar 2012 11:39am
Hey thank you, LA. It's been a while and this is a nice, warm welcome back.
Comment
Anonymous
2nd Mar 2012 11:02pm
A tender and elegiac love poem ripe with quiet passion. The profundity of the portrait lies in its eye for metaphor, such as "mental paperwork" and, my personal favourite, "dive headlong into that darkness with a torch." As LA said, spellbinding.
1
re: Comment
3rd Mar 2012 11:38am
A Reading List add? Thank you, Jack. It's nice to know I can still write something like this. Thank you so much for the compliments as well.
+++
3rd Apr 2012 5:49am
Most impressive Mad One. Very succinct and poignant. I especially like the way the third stanza sets of the contrast, and plainly the ending is quick, surprising, brilliant.
0
re: +++
13th Jun 2013 5:58am
Thanks a lot, Steve. It was a surprise for me as Jack has mentioned it is out of my usual style. The ending I'm especially proud of.
Yes..
Anonymous
21st Apr 2012 11:41am
The coming together and the mental connection, the realization that a like minded kindred is with you and the depths with which you create the perspectives on time. The balance is deep in the presentation of two richly vibrant characters meeting, yet taking different roads to the same junction..very philosophical in inference. A great write. Thank you, Peace
0
re: Yes..
13th Jun 2013 6:04am
Miki, thank you for your insightful words. The innocence is something I was trying to capture at first but eluded me. I had to put it down and come back to it much later for an appropriate ending to actually come to me and when it did it was perfect. She is a wonderful inspiration.
Re:
21st Apr 2012 9:09pm
Very interesting way of interpreting it. This is quite relatable for me right as I am going through a similar situation.
0
re: Re:
13th Jun 2013 6:05am
This response is long in coming so i hope your situation worked out as well as mine. Thanks for the read.
you are my warmth in the cold
9th May 2012 9:30am
Warmth in the cold, balance and equality. It drives me wild the way you write sometimes, because it is specific enough I think I know what it is about and vague enough wonder if I am mistaken in my interpretation. This is a treasure to me, and reminds me always of those happy times.
2
re: you are my warmth in the cold
9th May 2012 9:52am
Re: Until Tomorrow
Anonymous
13th May 2012 11:58pm
So tender a write and the feeling of pure emotion and love was captured well here :) I enjoyed this greatly and will do so again, as it has made its way into my list :) Thank You
0
re: Re: Until Tomorrow
13th Jun 2013 6:06am
I tried to move away from the usually heavy pieces i was writing and it paid off. Thank you for your read and comment
Re: Until Tomorrow
22nd Jun 2012 6:02pm
Love this poem it strikes a def chord into my heart...it reminds me very much of my relationship with my beautiful wife...thank you much Philip
1
Re: Until Tomorrow
5th Dec 2012 11:29pm
very good work on the snow & ice reference, i could never use this material unless it was Narnia or Christmas lol so you brought a poem a feeling of extraordinary potential here man good job keep it coming Happy Holidays
0
Re: Until Tomorrow
Anonymous
- Edited 12th Jun 2013 5:51pm
12th Jun 2013 5:50pm
I've been working my way through your poems today. I'll be the first to admit I haven't really read anything by you, so thought it was long overdue.
What stuck out for me about this one compared to the others that I read is that this one feels like I am glancing in on a personal memory. The language has a beautiful dream like quality.
It really is all about the first stanza for me. The randomness of the words, the randomness of the emotions which fit so well into the love category - hell, this is really the whole package for me.
Interestingly, there's absolutely no punctuation, and this totally works. The continuation of thought carried through even in this.
Thank you for the read.
What stuck out for me about this one compared to the others that I read is that this one feels like I am glancing in on a personal memory. The language has a beautiful dream like quality.
It really is all about the first stanza for me. The randomness of the words, the randomness of the emotions which fit so well into the love category - hell, this is really the whole package for me.
Interestingly, there's absolutely no punctuation, and this totally works. The continuation of thought carried through even in this.
Thank you for the read.
1
re: Re: Until Tomorrow
13th Jun 2013 5:57am
Thank you. It was out of my normal vein so it went unfinished for a while. It feels a little out of place but in a very good way. Thank you for your comments and time and I'm glad I could entertain you with this