It'd be so easy to leave but I can't

I awake to sunlight stabbing between my eyelids
Jabbing me out of a beautiful dream
In it I had runaway and was selfish for once
One selfish choice made up of a thousand decisions
But here I am awake, stomach in knots
My hands shaking as I turn over
Closing my eyes tightly, curling in on myself
My mind frantically searching for what I had
Just one, just one moment I had escaped
Yes, I've chosen this life and I know
I won't be walking away any time soon
There are cages you can't escape from
It's more complicated than picking a lock and fleeing
So many things I fight to hold together,
bending pin holding it all in place
It'd be so easy to escape and so much harder to stay
And I've never been one to choose the easy way out