deepundergroundpoetry.com
Swallow us whole
There is a pain that dwells beneath the surface of my lungs that even death himself will not go near, As if it is a nuclear warhead coming to its final crescendo;
Only that I myself have swallowed the warhead whole.
I think it hurts me so much because of all the times I ignored her, and the pain that she was slowly carving into the side of my rib cage.
Her name is Angelica, and she is me, except that I only acknowledge my own pain,
In fear that once I let the torn tattered carcass of my soul out, she will never go back in.
I do not cry at night anymore, because I am too afraid that once I start she will never stop.
I think that I have kept her hidden away for so long is because I do not want to feel the familiar sting of the pain I have carried with us for so long.
I am too scared to let that lonely afraid woman out, because deep down I know she has gone mad with rage, and I do not have the heart to kill the last bits of my soul.
I tell myself that this is human nature, that the pain in my chest demanding to be felt is normal and that I am not in denial.
As if I do not feel the woman inside my chest dying, as If the pain is not killing me too.
Only that I myself have swallowed the warhead whole.
I think it hurts me so much because of all the times I ignored her, and the pain that she was slowly carving into the side of my rib cage.
Her name is Angelica, and she is me, except that I only acknowledge my own pain,
In fear that once I let the torn tattered carcass of my soul out, she will never go back in.
I do not cry at night anymore, because I am too afraid that once I start she will never stop.
I think that I have kept her hidden away for so long is because I do not want to feel the familiar sting of the pain I have carried with us for so long.
I am too scared to let that lonely afraid woman out, because deep down I know she has gone mad with rage, and I do not have the heart to kill the last bits of my soul.
I tell myself that this is human nature, that the pain in my chest demanding to be felt is normal and that I am not in denial.
As if I do not feel the woman inside my chest dying, as If the pain is not killing me too.
Published 12th Jul 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 1
reads 349
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Jul 2021 7:59am
