fucked

fucked
that's what we are
we are completely utterly fucked
I'm sick and tired of all this shit
I'm sick of being that or being this
I'm sick of being in my skin and breathing in my lungs and climbing through my life
I'm fucked
I'm fucked, and sick and tired of being awake and tired.
I'm fucking screwed and people try to say
just
try
one
more
time
BUT I HATE THIS
i hate my life
I hate my situation
my name
my bed
my skin
my body
my school
my hair
my writing
my drawing
my breathing
my friends

I'm tired, and I don't want to fucking try anymore
I'm exhausted and too tired to fucking cry
I just want to give everything up
and I can't sleep without imagining the razor climbing in my wrist and open skin and bleeding wrists
and I can't stop imagining my neck wrapped around water thrashing through the deep water
and I keep imagining the pills pulsing through my skin and
I keep wondering how it would feel
and how life never would have existed
without my breathe
and I want to feel scars against me, but I guess the pain is too much a price to pay for relief
I'm fucked
so why can't I


digthatfuckingrazordeeperorspillthatcocktailfurther