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Fractured
What if I died
and nobody knew...
...knew that I had this other life,
these virtual night-time friends...
What if nobody
that I can look in the eye
ever really knows this layer of me,
the depths I reveal
one verse at a time...
I am fractured...
Living one life of daily work,
marriage and motherhood,
joys and responsibilities;
not without depth,
and yet -
it is a life of prose.
And this other life...
where emotion is not a liability
and I can rest in my instability,
lay naked on the page -
unashamed pure soul,
unburdened by expectations
or roles to play;
this life where poets
have embraced my broken and brave.
What if I never find a way,
never learn to marry these lives
and live fully out loud,
unified...
Will it matter in the end?
Will I even have fully lived?
and nobody knew...
...knew that I had this other life,
these virtual night-time friends...
What if nobody
that I can look in the eye
ever really knows this layer of me,
the depths I reveal
one verse at a time...
I am fractured...
Living one life of daily work,
marriage and motherhood,
joys and responsibilities;
not without depth,
and yet -
it is a life of prose.
And this other life...
where emotion is not a liability
and I can rest in my instability,
lay naked on the page -
unashamed pure soul,
unburdened by expectations
or roles to play;
this life where poets
have embraced my broken and brave.
What if I never find a way,
never learn to marry these lives
and live fully out loud,
unified...
Will it matter in the end?
Will I even have fully lived?
Published 9th May 2021
Author's Note
I don't know.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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reading list entries 5
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9th May 2021 4:30am
9th May 2021 4:48am
Damn, k.
You're a writer of the most amazingly poignant and truly spot on stream of consciousness extravaganzas. You just slayed this poem... wow! I relate with each and every line here and I'm a childless divorcee... funny/not funny. (hahaha) However, I get it completely. I feel at my very core (eventually) I'll be able to to marry my own reality to my online presence, slowly but surely. For me, it's not letting fear or fucking judgement stand in my way. I would like to think that if I had been fortunate enough to have kids, (sadly, it wasn't in the cards) that once they were old enough, they'd be able to read my writes here with pride, along with an understanding that this was what their mother was feeling in A particular moment. Their human, flesh and blood... PERSON, of a mom.
That being a mom /wife /daughter /sister etc... are only layers of what makes a whole human being..... and that this poetry was sort of a way to connect all those layers... while also allowing for some much needed breathing room.
Hopefully I can make my way to that kinda head space, at some point .... lol.
I adored this write, k and I wholeheartedly thank you for sharing it with us.
(sorry to drone!)
Much love and respect,
🌹
xo
B
You're a writer of the most amazingly poignant and truly spot on stream of consciousness extravaganzas. You just slayed this poem... wow! I relate with each and every line here and I'm a childless divorcee... funny/not funny. (hahaha) However, I get it completely. I feel at my very core (eventually) I'll be able to to marry my own reality to my online presence, slowly but surely. For me, it's not letting fear or fucking judgement stand in my way. I would like to think that if I had been fortunate enough to have kids, (sadly, it wasn't in the cards) that once they were old enough, they'd be able to read my writes here with pride, along with an understanding that this was what their mother was feeling in A particular moment. Their human, flesh and blood... PERSON, of a mom.
That being a mom /wife /daughter /sister etc... are only layers of what makes a whole human being..... and that this poetry was sort of a way to connect all those layers... while also allowing for some much needed breathing room.
Hopefully I can make my way to that kinda head space, at some point .... lol.
I adored this write, k and I wholeheartedly thank you for sharing it with us.
(sorry to drone!)
Much love and respect,
🌹
xo
B
9th May 2021 1:05pm
In the ether is where many of us live out our lust and love and everything else
So eloquently expressed k
Lots of XXX
BIG LIKE
So eloquently expressed k
Lots of XXX
BIG LIKE
10th May 2021 8:09am
I think we all ask that question
"What if I died and nobody knew"
The fear of being forgotten and not celebrated haunts all of us...
This is such a poignant piece
Masterful
"What if I died and nobody knew"
The fear of being forgotten and not celebrated haunts all of us...
This is such a poignant piece
Masterful
21st May 2021 11:04pm
I can relate to this wonderful poem on every level as I'm sure many can, you single out the dichotomy of wanting to share the poetry you carry but also wanting to keep it hidden from real eyes, a splendid and fresh poem. I guess we all want to burn a little brighter from time to time, at least enough to make someone look up. You certainly made me look up. Best K
