Father Bob

I can't sing and I can't rap though
I can write slick lines
That rhyme with nintendo
Like all day or night
Use my super hero powers
Brew up a stom and lighting bolts
Electrocute your prostate
until its black and blue
Your hole it hurts
like your hemorrhoids just burst
leaking yellowish green poo
Like Dr pimple popper
When you're on the toilet steaming
Jerking off to all your demons
Come here little boy
I heard that you've been swearing
Come sit on Father Bob's lap
And no I ain't wearing
any underwear
Iam the trinity
And you're fucked now
That's right your God's gone queer
And he sent me to tell you
Im gonna put the holy ghost inside you
Wait hold up I said
My Cuz already taught me
So let's play truth or do you dare me
I'll drink all the wine before you scare me
Oh father let's say the holy rosary instead
He stuck the beads up his own ass
Then he took my hand
I'm only 12 I said and I've no hair
My balls are clean shaven too he said
So I don't care
Plus I like bald bums and little cocks
Oh father I thought this was confession
Now I'm contemplating
But he said sit down Brian and suck
So fuck it I bit down harder than ever
Locked my jaw like a dead rottweiler
I could feel the last vein sever
And I had to gulp harder than ever
A half eating penis limp in my tummy
Blood squirting all over the walls
Oh no he said I have the stigmata
Then I took out my blade
sliced his throat deeper than my father's
There was blood everywhere
And I got an erection
So I took off my clothes laughing
Then I rolled around the floor
Like I was on catnip
Or a doggy finding a dead deer
I realized I can't go back to school
Naked and bloody
Like a newborn baby
So I washed myself clean
With the holy water from Medjugorje
This scene looks too gory
So I burnt the rectory down
With a book of matches I took off the alter
Before that I went up stairs
Took a shit and pissed on his bed
I opened the parish safe and
There was about 80 grand and some change
Man I must have bought a pound of weed
And 25 guns from this guy at the pawn shop
So I walked into Walmart and shot everyone dead The last bullet I saved for my head
But God appeared to me he smiled and said
I'm sending you back Ted
I said I'm not Ted I'm Brian
He said I know I'm just lying
Come here don't be crying
I'm giving you one more chance
To go back to Rumford and make amends
I said fuck that pulled the trigger
Then the blast from my 12 gauge
blew off his head
Yeah that's why the world sucks
The only God there was is dead
And it's all my fault
Well I guess that's what Mom and Dad said
Brian did it that little bastard
And he doesn't call or text
Well fuck him then I hope he dies like the rest
Shout out to my family Mommy and Daddy
I forgive you though. Fuck you Uncle Mark
Who's the big man now you fucking coward