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cruel mind games
her hand looked like stretched canvas losing elasticity
lily-white paper-thin skin lying over bone and drying veins
this vibrant life has no current thoughts and lost electricity
my warm hand attempts to give her spark back as she wanes
she looked in my eyes and for a moment I saw her
my white southern grandmother called me “el blanquito”
loved me and my spanish side english many preferred
her smile soured and she backslid her hand very slow
her sweet hazel eyes which I also carry turned black
she spat to my feet and slapped me then told me to go home
the sweet protector of the caramel-colored child now attacks
to my once guardian angel I will be the man you helped comb
lily-white paper-thin skin lying over bone and drying veins
this vibrant life has no current thoughts and lost electricity
my warm hand attempts to give her spark back as she wanes
she looked in my eyes and for a moment I saw her
my white southern grandmother called me “el blanquito”
loved me and my spanish side english many preferred
her smile soured and she backslid her hand very slow
her sweet hazel eyes which I also carry turned black
she spat to my feet and slapped me then told me to go home
the sweet protector of the caramel-colored child now attacks
to my once guardian angel I will be the man you helped comb
Written by
Remy_L
(Remington Lancaster)
Published 16th Apr 2021
Author's Note
My sweet beacon of hope grandmother, my savior, my hero against the narrowminded now falls victim to her dementia and her upbringing. She looks at me with disgust, her only half white and half Spanish grandchild.
04.16.2021
04.16.2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 3
comments 13
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Re. cruel mind games
16th Apr 2021 5:19am
Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Sucks that you now struggle having someone you loved and seemed would go to the end of the Earth for you just waste away and show a side of her dismissed long ago.
1
Re: Re. cruel mind games
I know of her upbringing and how she rebelled against the racism as a teenage girl in love with an African American in 1947...
I love her but it hurts. Appreciate you.
I love her but it hurts. Appreciate you.
Anonymous
- Edited 18th Nov 2021 8:45pm
16th Apr 2021 5:34am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. cruel mind games
16th Apr 2021 6:23am
I know her condition and I knew her kind heart. She loved me, my Spanish mother. I'm wise enough to understand, however the emotions hurt the logic. Appreciate you.
Re. cruel mind games
16th Apr 2021 5:50am
Sorry about your grandmother. You still have the good memories in your heart even though she's lost in her dementia. Keep on writing
2
Re: Re. cruel mind games
16th Apr 2021 6:24am
Re. cruel mind games
My heart goes out to you Remy. I can only imagine how painful that must be for you. I had dealings with mental impairment at the end of my father's life, which haunt me to this day. I Try and hold onto the memories of before, because I liked to believe that somewhere deep inside, there was a chance of a glimpse of recognition.If only a mere moment. .. and not just the disease's progress winning....
Your grandmother.. She'll always love you with the same passion and vigor. You remember that and that's what you hold onto.
Sending all my best thoughts of peace and healing, my friend.
Much love and respect,
🌹
xo
B
Your grandmother.. She'll always love you with the same passion and vigor. You remember that and that's what you hold onto.
Sending all my best thoughts of peace and healing, my friend.
Much love and respect,
🌹
xo
B
1
Re: Re. cruel mind games
16th Apr 2021 6:27am
It hurts Blue deeply but I understand my grandmother's condition. I appreciate you sharing and taking a moment to aid me in these moments of losing myself. Appreciate you.
Re. cruel mind games
Tragic ink
Feel for you
Read it a few times
You're a seer son, that will take you places.....
BIG LIKE on your exquisite writing
RL AWARD
Feel for you
Read it a few times
You're a seer son, that will take you places.....
BIG LIKE on your exquisite writing
RL AWARD
2
Re: Re. cruel mind games
16th Apr 2021 11:20pm
Re. cruel mind games
17th Apr 2021 2:39am
My only comment on such a personal matter is your loving grandmother's mentality is slowly fading and the cruel words as you stated welcomed your ears as not meant to hurt you, it is the progression of any type of imbalance of the brain whereas you will see this in anyone who is suffering form Dementia or Alzheimer's Disease.
Take into consideration both of these are types of brain disorders will most likely cause problems with memory, thinking, and bring about erratic behavior. It will be best to make those videos, pictures will not be effective and that does depends on the stages. If you have any old videos of family gatherings that would be helpful, and for the family there are support groups as well.
If you need additional clarification I am here my poet...and please enjoy your evening as well. As reading the above supportive comments we are all here for you
Take into consideration both of these are types of brain disorders will most likely cause problems with memory, thinking, and bring about erratic behavior. It will be best to make those videos, pictures will not be effective and that does depends on the stages. If you have any old videos of family gatherings that would be helpful, and for the family there are support groups as well.
If you need additional clarification I am here my poet...and please enjoy your evening as well. As reading the above supportive comments we are all here for you
1
Re: Re. cruel mind games
17th Apr 2021 4:02am
Re: Re. cruel mind games
17th Apr 2021 4:08am
Thank you and please enjoy the remainder of your late evening and may you find comfort in your upcoming weekend
1