deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Relativity of Speed (a Tanka)
...is when a small snail
Hangs tight to a turtle shell
While the turtle sails
At full speed running like hell
The snail will yell: Please, SLOW DOWN!
Published 17th Mar 2021
| Edited 18th Mar 2021
Author's Note
For the Take the Time to Tanka comp
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Hi, Wally—
I know where you're going with this, but there's a bump in the road:
...is when a small snail
Sitting on a turtle shell
And the turtle sails
I think either you forgot an 'is' before 'Sitting'?
I know where you're going with this, but there's a bump in the road:
...is when a small snail
Sitting on a turtle shell
And the turtle sails
I think either you forgot an 'is' before 'Sitting'?
22nd Mar 2021 6:37pm
Thanks Ahavati,
I struggled with the syntax and flow to this for a couple of days. I changed it a bit.
I do have to say that the SHATs (Senryus, Haikus and Tankas) are a challenge for me.
Be on the look out for my SHATs later on.
I struggled with the syntax and flow to this for a couple of days. I changed it a bit.
I do have to say that the SHATs (Senryus, Haikus and Tankas) are a challenge for me.
Be on the look out for my SHATs later on.
18th Mar 2021 00:54am
22nd Mar 2021 6:38pm
29th Mar 2021 3:45am
12th Apr 2021 4:53pm
