Intentions

Could you please
At least
Spit first
Before the thought of you
Within me
Unfurls itself
Rising from the depths of my gut
Slime and fetid stench
Coming to rest at the back of my throat
Settling just beneath the bile
To keep me on my toes

You
My noose
In one way or another
How do I subvert the purpose of the rope
Around my neck
When the reaching of my hands
Loses its meaning
And the lighthouse of my soul has begun to lean
In storm winds it wasnt built to withstand
But then again
That is it's own shortcoming
It's no fault of the wind
That mere bricks cant hold its tide
Or that it carries
the ripe odour of rot in its palms
And with its gentlest voice
Places the scent of death
Almost lovingly
Across my lips

No
It rests upon me
Like a wooden lid
And 6 feet of earth
To let the tower fall
If it was built with bricks of straw
Let the rope scar if my hands aren't strong enough to untie the knot
Let me crumble
Let the dust settle like filthy rain
on the rubble
of almost but not quite me

The fire has fuel enough
To light a few lives yet
It lasted through a wooden shack
Scared to hold the thing it loved
It lasted through the castle built
with the bitter cold of remorse
Painting the walls of every room

And it's been the soul
of my lighthouse
The light of hope
In the bowels of an empty shell
That doesnt want to remember
What it could have been

Now again it sits on my chest
A ropey snake
eyes lidded with sleep
Tongue settled
Content
At home
With its tail melted
Into roots within my mind

And I must rebuild
Despite the weight of chains
I found purpose for a fleeting moment
But now
It's time for straw to turn to stone
For an ember to catch and spark
To light a flame with a life of it's own
Hot enough to fuse stone
And burn a noose
Maybe even strong enough
To warm a skeptics bones

I will have it again
But this time
Built to last
Stone and fire
Hand in hand
One enshrined by the other
A tower carved from hearts stone
A temple for the roaring fire
That it keeps cradled in the depths of its arms
Away from any festering wind
To light the way
Always
To a purpose set in stone