Cookie Cake Blues

I'm just a
lonely cookie cake I'm sittin'
here all day just
waitin' for someone to
take me sittin' here
with the baked goods
baked goods just makin' me look bad
I got

frosting: month-old buttermilk
chocolate chips just waitin' to grow some mold
preservatives don't work as well with humidity
and all I've learned is one single lesson in humility

I'm just a
ugly cookie cake
I get a one, single, double, triple
quadruple take ev'ry time
a shopper comes in lookin'
to take a cake
home for
the family holiday
but I got

a sell-by stamp: way past date
a 20-dollar price tag; that's too much to pay
rainbow sprinkles that are hard as a rock
I'm waitin' to get thrown out next time that they're
closin' up shop!

I'm just a
bachelor cookie cake
a promising musician waitin' for his big break
not granola, not jogurt, and def'nitely not steak
I'm just a girthy, murky-colored, smelly
sanitary? not so very
trapped inside this piece of plastic
guaranteed to make kids spastic
tear-inducing, post-consuming
cookie cake

and that's the way I'm gonna stay