deepundergroundpoetry.com
Synesthetica, Part II, (Audio)
ii. audio (sound)
my feet
scurrying,
each footfall
it’s own
impetus
forward -
sounding off
subtly,
water cascading
frantically
from
tired soles,
searching for
their way
home
natural
streams
carrying
the weight
of our
unnatural
consumption
floating busily
along
concrete channels
designed
for capture -
inevitable death
and the ultimate
cleansing
await,
a true
suicide mission;
the rain
making chaos
on their backs
as they gurgle
along,
choked by
nothing more
spectacular
than everyday
trash
a couple,
heads pressed
together
in a gentle,
reverent
embrace;
their laughter
is music
set to the
soft, jazzy
background
of raindrops
dancing
atop
their umbrella
as hands
work together
for their
shared
protection
my feet
scurrying,
each footfall
it’s own
impetus
forward -
sounding off
subtly,
water cascading
frantically
from
tired soles,
searching for
their way
home
natural
streams
carrying
the weight
of our
unnatural
consumption
floating busily
along
concrete channels
designed
for capture -
inevitable death
and the ultimate
cleansing
await,
a true
suicide mission;
the rain
making chaos
on their backs
as they gurgle
along,
choked by
nothing more
spectacular
than everyday
trash
a couple,
heads pressed
together
in a gentle,
reverent
embrace;
their laughter
is music
set to the
soft, jazzy
background
of raindrops
dancing
atop
their umbrella
as hands
work together
for their
shared
protection
Published 18th Sep 2020
Author's Note
A work in progress (part 2 of 6)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 5
comments 10
reads 210
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Sep 2020 6:06pm
I will have to look for part I of this! Or, did I already comment? God I read so much. . . It's exquisite imagery! And the ending is absolutely perfect. The form takes on a descent that mimics rainfall.
Is this series regarding the senses?
Is this series regarding the senses?
18th Sep 2020 6:10pm
Thank you, Ahavati! It’s a journey of sorts, into the things my synesthesia notices and catalogues about a particular moment. I’m really enjoying it so far 💜.
18th Sep 2020 7:53pm
The intimacy of the scene holds an unspoken nuance of emotion, needless to say, time, love, loss, longing, a perspective of pure spirit, drinking in the world in it's full dimensions of bloom, blush, rust, smoke, whimsy and moments of meaning. My favorite part was, the rain making chaos on their backs. It is wonderfully organic technique to let the milieu carry the message.
18th Sep 2020 10:16pm
Prosody flows, through starts and stops
Just like raindrops, baptizing the everyday moments
Every bubble displayed til it pops
kinda reminiscent of Emily Dickenson in that sense
Just like raindrops, baptizing the everyday moments
Every bubble displayed til it pops
kinda reminiscent of Emily Dickenson in that sense
20th Sep 2020 9:03pm
22nd Sep 2020 00:42am
Dear L,
This is fantastic as I really enjoy a good rainfall. In specific it reminds me of the feeling when I’m actually caught in the rain and my back gets wet. Mostly I don’t mind it, but heaven help us if I’ve stepped in a puddle. Wet feet I don’t like. At all. Your last stanza is a scene I have waited to live all my life. It’s beautifully romantic. I keep waiting...H🌷
This is fantastic as I really enjoy a good rainfall. In specific it reminds me of the feeling when I’m actually caught in the rain and my back gets wet. Mostly I don’t mind it, but heaven help us if I’ve stepped in a puddle. Wet feet I don’t like. At all. Your last stanza is a scene I have waited to live all my life. It’s beautifully romantic. I keep waiting...H🌷
22nd Sep 2020 4:52am
I am a ridiculously hopeless romantic; it gives me joy to see humans in love ♥️. Thank you so much, Honoria 💖.
26th Sep 2020 4:47am
holy shit, this shit right here. i love it.
"natural
streams
carrying
the weight
of our
unnatural
consumption
floating busily
along
concrete channels
designed
for capture - "
mmm damn. tired soles as well, loving that.
i can already see how your cornerstone is built on a sense, and then to see you describe a scene from it is beautiful in just that aspect alone. to gaze and try to follow more than just the words. then the fact those words are filled with such depth.... it's not a bonus because it's the actual core of it, but for me the two together warms me even in the rain.
"natural
streams
carrying
the weight
of our
unnatural
consumption
floating busily
along
concrete channels
designed
for capture - "
mmm damn. tired soles as well, loving that.
i can already see how your cornerstone is built on a sense, and then to see you describe a scene from it is beautiful in just that aspect alone. to gaze and try to follow more than just the words. then the fact those words are filled with such depth.... it's not a bonus because it's the actual core of it, but for me the two together warms me even in the rain.
26th Sep 2020 4:52am
Your kind words are poetry in and of themselves. It means the world that you found resonance here. Thank you so very much ♥️.
