abandonment issues

i am going to admit i have so issues
I want to please everyone I don't want anyone mad at me
this might take some time I may need some tissues
i just think to myself how can this be

I lose myself trying to reach other expectations
i just want them to like me
i give too much
i receive nothing in return

i always think your just gonna disappear and leave me
saying this makes me feel vulnerable
not something i like to admit
i wear my heart on my sleeve

i need to be reassured that everything is fine
i think there still a scared little girl inside
i don't like to be alone
the sad truth

I'm afraid if anyone sees this part of me they would just run
cuddling is to intimate for me
i push people away i panic about being in relationships
even though i saw i want to be with someone

i do have a high standard of what i feel a relationship should be
i notice any flaw
i don't really give myself time to heal
i just don't want to feel

i like distraction so i won't have to deal with the pain i feel
i want something to take the edge off
i don't want to belive what is happening is real
i feel lost