Suicide Note

I really should not
But I will
Fly from this building tonight
It will be such a thrill
Down below I see the lights
Little things, miniatures
Rushing cars and streetlights
People rushing by with their dreams
Ambitions and achievements
Triumphs and accomplishments

I have none of those
I am a non-entity
I do not exist
I am nothing
I am no one
And this little shred of humanity
Should be destroyed

I stand poised on this ledge
Looking down before I fly
I think about what led
me to this little flight
A journey of discovery
A lifetime of knowing
That I want to end tonight
Innocence lost
A dream shattered
Unwanted knowledge gained

My mother wished I was scrapped from her womb
She told me that one day
And in an instance wished she did not
My father wished I was a boy
And ignored me when I was not
My siblings hated me
For being just me
My lovers used me
And discarded me when it was over
I am used merchandise

Tonight I reached the zenith
Of my hurt
When you I love said goodbye
In this letter in my hand
The wind they sing a lullaby
The cold air like gentle arms
Engulf me lovingly, freezing me
I need to go
I am flying now
See me in your dreams