I tried

I pretend to sleep, tears dried on my cheeks.
The bed squeaks as you sneak from the sheets. It’s the third time this week...
It’s her to which you seek to go hide and speak to. You don’t know I’m awake, I hear the conversation that partakes. With every soft spoken word I feel my heart break, my hands begin to shake. I burn to ashes from your mistakes...

You return to bed, countless thoughts infect my head. You believe I didn’t hear the all that was said. Tonight my soul bled caused by lies I was fed by the man my heart was set to wed....

Motionless in this bed, my body drenched in sweat, my eyes wet. Here comes the feeling of regret. I could really go for a cigarette...

My chest gets tight, I try to calm myself down with the words “it’ll be alright, just try to make it through the night” I can’t reveal that I’m awake, I can’t handle another fight. I fall asleep despite the pain I didn’t invite. The morning light shines bright through the curtains. My heart rate at an all time height. You’re no where in sight. I quietly get out of bed, it’s my chance to take flight before the tears ignite...

I grab what I can and prepare to head to the stairs. If you see me you’ll start the questionnaire, you’re unaware I know of your affair. You’ll declare I’m just insecure, you’ll swear it’s all in my head. You’ll say a man like you is rare...

Here’s comes the war...and like so many times before you start to deny. I can’t sit by and listen to your lies. I refuse to let you see me cry this time. I just look at the floor, don’t even bother to reply to your glorified lie, the truth you modified. No, I have to keep my pride, set my love aside. Remind myself of all that you hide. Too many tears I cried. What’s my goodbye?
I just whisper “I tried”