film of a garden wretch

Wow! I love the image you chose to accompany this, Andrew. Really stellar writing and visual presentation... One of my favorites of yours! Awesome work, my friend - this is truly a masterpiece in my eyes ❤️🙏

thanks so much again , I know your love of nature and your place within is so pure and honest. means a lot to me that you like this.

I have a lot to say about this Andrew. Will be back to comment... but oh my god
♥️ And you

Things I loved about this poem:  

I loved the visual element to this piece and feel that the imagery chosen really added to the atmosphere of the piece. I enjoyed that there were some image highlights in your poem, for example “solstice in the blood” and “God’s yellowing clicking finger”
I thought were particularly note worthy. I also like the echo of detachment that descended from the title through the piece as a whole.  

Things I didn’t like about this poem:

In the spirit of honest critique, I feel it tries too hard to be “poetic”. A good friend of mine always says don’t even pick up that pen if you aren’t going to communicate what you want to say. And that’s the thing — I got to the end and it still felt vague. So I’m left with a strange feeling as a reader. And I have to be honest with my feedback on that as it’s my experience with the piece.  

Never the less, it was worth reading for the things I did honestly like about it. Thank you for sharing.  

-M

Thank you so much Missy for the kind words again and for explaining honestly why parts of this did not work for you. of course one can learn and improve by understanding why something does or does not resonate with someone, especially with someone whose writing I admire and enjoy greatly, so thank you for expressing and genuinely taking time to explain . I absolutely take what you have said on board and your friend's advice is spot on.

thanks again with much admiration.

Damn It someone call the manager.

A slip of tongue curling up in someone’s way on the ground  
 
Jesus Andrew.. this image is so felt and truth...  
this piece was so incredibly honest. My reaction to it was to want to reach out in tender touch... and beg that someone would always have the courage to give me the honor of reading something so deeply intimate. And I reciprocate in gratitude. It is always an honor to read someone’s fear, I grow from them, because I am open to feeling them deeply and without recoil from true emotion in poetry. I am proud I am capable of understanding them. Reading you lends to that... thank you.  I appreciate your skills. But never do they feel like an effort to masturbate in ink... they do not feel contrived. But that of a man who is filled with the courage of emotion. And able to pen it on paper in utter beauty... there are few on this site or any other that could do it and hold a candle to your caliber of poetry. You transcend trying, and it is gifted to us. As art blended with words , and we stare at it seeing you. I am for one graced by it. I for one am more than moved, but privileged  
I grow by your gifts. Thank you.  
With all my heart Andrew  
 
Fuck em

It is hard for me to reply to this except with a big heart-filled thank you Jenny. xxx

Andrew. What can I say that Jennifer hasn't already said? Of course I am not at a loss for words I was just fucking with you. I never run out, much to the chagrin of flying monkeys that hound me! Bahaha

Anyhow, I also found that line to be so very humble and vulnerable as well. There are so many moments in my life I haven't shared, lying on the floor in a flood of tears with a broken heart, my crying was like screaming it was so feral and I could barely register my best friend stepping forward and backward in the doorway, registering panic on some animal level in the basal ganglia, heart strings tugged on a higher level, but unable to do anything in particular to ease my suffering. I remember laying in bed for weeks as my life crumbled to pieces, lost my job, my scholarship, my stepfather herding me into the car to take me home, where I slept on a floor for months as I worked a shit job to save up and buy this little house.

So from when I am written greener, your first stanza, it seems a lament for being in a place of lacking, rendered with such humility, I am humbled just to peruse it and see what courage it takes to come from such a place and give it to others who, most likely, by and large, are going to look, but not see.

You draw us into what feels to me like such a place of pain, with language so organic and gorgeously woven, it is as if the earth and the seasons are speaking it to us. Your ability is something so far beyond the ken of what is common to a place for lost wayfarers, such as this, and yet we all somehow make a home here.

I consider it an honor and a privilege to know you, even in such a limited way, to receive these glimpses into your heart and the magnificent palaces of alchemy you craft in it's halls.

Always your friend,
The Magician

Thank you again so much Daniel. First of all, and though it may sound simplistic,  you never fail to make me feel good. and that is a blessing. I read a reply by ImperfectedStone to one of your comments on her poems, in that she felt 'read' when reading your critique and I share that response.  that again is such a wonderful feeling to have when posting something one is not sure or confident of.

Thanks for sharing your story also. That understanding that one is not alone in experiencing overwhelming circumstances is to be cherished and held close to the heart.

The privilege is also mine Daniel, unlike yourself, I may be someone who is at a loss for words sometimes but your friendship and support is just the best and so valued, though I may often be quiet.

thanks again my friend.

You used nature as a metaphor for the mind with a finesse that left me feeling really feeling the suffering you speak of. But you transcend that darkness into a light that shines like Van Gogh's stars a soul so in touch with his feelings that he will surely rise from the pits of despair. And those lines on self-attachment being the first signal of madness burst into the brightness of a true self-awareness that will not succumb to such madness. Though your poem was sorrowful it transcended that sadness into an organic whole beyond what most achieve. And I read this several times because it resonated with my heart and spoke of places I have known. The clarity of your thought here is astonishing. You face your fear and create art. That takes a truly aware person who can navigate the terrain of desolation and find his way back. I am honored to meet you here on this plane of art. You are a great poet and I see a gentle spirit coupled with a grand talent. I don't encounter such a combination every day.

John

Thank you so much John. Jenny has explained to me of her admiration of you and how much she values your friendship and support. I can understand why.

I have read your comment quite a few times now  absorbing it all and I feel so touched and genuinely moved. Thank you.

I have been quiet recently in contributing and commenting on others works but I will try and make a point, as Jenny highly recommends your writing, of reading more of you.

again so appreciated and am so glad  to have met you too.

The opening is just brilliant.  The casualness of it like an internal dialogue of halt, start wandering of the mind, the conscious surfacing and resurfacing again and again.
The beauty here are the metaphors and each signifying some stem of pain, regret and loss just like nature tending its own wounds to heal and reborn.
The graphic is so haunting and an absolute enhancement of the imagery depicted in the poem.
While i read that second stanza over and over admiring the word choices and the ease on the tongue painting a magnificent picture with its depth and language.
I've always admired your talent and this is another brilliant piece that stands above everything else on this site.

Thank you so much Layla.

Your encouragement and support, as always is so so appreciated.

I love "...regret and loss just like nature tending its own wounds to heal and reborn. "

thanks again

This amazing work is nominated in POM, good luck Nomoth.

You pull brambles from yourself with ease. Utterly beautiful fb, what else is there? This is a winner.

:) Thank you so much. again this from someone whose writing i so admire and fall for, means such a lot.

Can only repeat. I truly think these string of visuals should have a home in their own volume. Like one of those Victorian picture book thingies. Your personification of nature is a delight. Rob

Thanks so much Rob. the book idea is definitely food for thought.

hope all is well with you. thanks again.

What struck me was the imagery of the leaf as a tongue curled on the ground in someone's way.  Damn, I wish I'd thought of that first. Andrew, you are undoubtedly one of the most talented writers here at DU; you also have a visual gift for expression that few possess. In my oracle reading this morning, I drew 'Grounding', which contains the image of a woman above with roots below; she is honoring the earth's gift of light and yield to become grounded herself. That is what this poem and visual reminded me of—it truly resonated with me this morning.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you so much A. I am sorry for being late in replying.

I really appreciate your comment though i see so much to improve which is a good thing.

I loved that this coincided with your reading. Its a real honor to be a part of something like that. It reminds me that I would need to have some kind of reading too soon. A little wind for the sails and to move the clouds so to speak.

So happy that you have started the Classic corner again too. Looking forward to contributing and learning again after a long while.

Thanks again so muchx

Cannot wait to see your CC contribution! Yes; this NaPo kicked our ass, I'm afraid.  We needed that extra month to rest. We'll be in search of younger blood to take them on soon! :)

Reading this was an honor; each one of your pieces holds a special place of resonation for me; they always have. I connect very deeply and spiritually with them.  There's something about the images you choose that weave the words with roots, as did this one.  Perhaps to some they are seedlings that haven't bloomed yet; but I see them in all their glory under the sun and moon.

Anytime you are ready for a reading, just contact me. It would be an honor. :)