deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fiberglass
Pre administered microphoned speak
Speaking to the gambler and his misgivings
Chips placed in precarious
.... stacks
A pro placed bet
............shoved red ridged
..................circles shifting to the edge
..............................Comes the blue round O’r
worth less shrieks the minister
fat cheeks filled
free guacamole and taco chips
spittled to green felt table
In the gamblers hands
Red eyed queen and a wink
One weekend free cable
One lovely hooker ironically called Babe
Dip in the pool later
To calm the quivering
A fat man
Blue suited blubbering
Creates BIG splash
With the turquoise laidies
And their baubled tans
plastic palm tree reef
fiberglass coral majesty
a porpoise in life
decorated pink walls
Flying Elvi graceland the sky
The sky is falling heartbreak hotel
Thrusting crotches and dazzling sequins
In sequence
A paramount event
A paramount event
A paramount event
Parrots the crowd
A drive towards the desert
Flagged down by neon cowboy
Waving cactus
Like spikey penis
Two doors down
Brothel boasting
The red lid of Venus
Gamblers prick might never be the same
Two slicks of the drip
Cry hell to the strip
That bitch was not Venus
But a villain
Fast to Walgreens for a lil white pill
Called penicillin
jet fueled finished
narrow yellow arrowed
lane of no return the same
feels 747 roar of lift
and grand departure to
pre vaca postcard capture
a life called normalcy’s
purgatoried
fate
Speaking to the gambler and his misgivings
Chips placed in precarious
.... stacks
A pro placed bet
............shoved red ridged
..................circles shifting to the edge
..............................Comes the blue round O’r
worth less shrieks the minister
fat cheeks filled
free guacamole and taco chips
spittled to green felt table
In the gamblers hands
Red eyed queen and a wink
One weekend free cable
One lovely hooker ironically called Babe
Dip in the pool later
To calm the quivering
A fat man
Blue suited blubbering
Creates BIG splash
With the turquoise laidies
And their baubled tans
plastic palm tree reef
fiberglass coral majesty
a porpoise in life
decorated pink walls
Flying Elvi graceland the sky
The sky is falling heartbreak hotel
Thrusting crotches and dazzling sequins
In sequence
A paramount event
A paramount event
A paramount event
Parrots the crowd
A drive towards the desert
Flagged down by neon cowboy
Waving cactus
Like spikey penis
Two doors down
Brothel boasting
The red lid of Venus
Gamblers prick might never be the same
Two slicks of the drip
Cry hell to the strip
That bitch was not Venus
But a villain
Fast to Walgreens for a lil white pill
Called penicillin
jet fueled finished
narrow yellow arrowed
lane of no return the same
feels 747 roar of lift
and grand departure to
pre vaca postcard capture
a life called normalcy’s
purgatoried
fate
Published 28th Jun 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 5
comments 8
reads 513
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
I dig this.
Interesting tale, i am a gambler I love a risk. Just not an std type risk. Lol
Interesting tale, i am a gambler I love a risk. Just not an std type risk. Lol
28th Jun 2020 5:06am
28th Jun 2020 5:19am
You do Vegas better by far than I’ve ever beheld on the screen or in print. This is a wildly surreal trip into the heartland of American hedonism. Grab your seat belts boys and girls you are in for one hell of a ride. You grabbed me by the seat of my pants and had me laughing happily all the way.
XoXoXo
John
XoXoXo
John
28th Jun 2020 5:28am
28th Jun 2020 3:12pm
plastic palm tree reef
fiberglass coral majesty
a porpoise in life
decorated pink walls
That is just stunning imagery right there.
Flying Elvi graceland the sky <- FAB!
Waving cactus
Like spikey penis <- LOLOL! Helicocktering!
laidies <- is that a typo or double-entendre? ( I am assuming the latter but wanted to make sure. )
Curious as to the lower-capped final stanza; does it represent a letdown? That is how I interpreted it.
This has to be the best poem in regards to Vegas I've ever read. Your double-entendres were absolutely perfect!
fiberglass coral majesty
a porpoise in life
decorated pink walls
That is just stunning imagery right there.
Flying Elvi graceland the sky <- FAB!
Waving cactus
Like spikey penis <- LOLOL! Helicocktering!
laidies <- is that a typo or double-entendre? ( I am assuming the latter but wanted to make sure. )
Curious as to the lower-capped final stanza; does it represent a letdown? That is how I interpreted it.
This has to be the best poem in regards to Vegas I've ever read. Your double-entendres were absolutely perfect!
Lmbo... helicocktering... yes the laidies entendres... yes the lower case were moments to breathe... I tried to use it to reproduce the crazed cycle of events...
Thanks Tammy awesome questions and comments
All the words are placed very purposely here. The dual meanings are in the 20 s and I appreciate you digging in to find them.
Red eyed queen, ironically called Babe...
I had a lot of fun writing this
Thanks Tammy awesome questions and comments
All the words are placed very purposely here. The dual meanings are in the 20 s and I appreciate you digging in to find them.
Red eyed queen, ironically called Babe...
I had a lot of fun writing this
29th Jun 2020 8:26pm
Opening in a place mid actions is excellent technique. The reader hits the ground running, has to immediately engage critical thinking. Immediate action is both a powerful and subtle build of mind's eye dimensions. The red ridge of the shoved chips comes into stark relief. Somehow I am reminded of soldier transports hitting a beach under live fire. There's no greater gamble than with your life, I guess. That's a roulette wheel I won't soon spin again.
I love the potent detail of the minister, nothing superfluous, you're building the narrative quick fire and effective and all that goes unsaid about a man of the cloth sputtering at a table of vice.
Holy fuck I love stanza 3. It should be in a song.
Stanza 4 has that anchoring effect of color I like pointing out because it shows how smart I am. I love your ability with details. Their baubled tans is so unconventional that it strikes a match. The kids say, lit.
Keep expanding the details, broadening our view of the milieu. You could easily transfer to a novelist if you so desired.
Stanza 6 again is just so fucking superlative. I don't know that I've ever seen Elvis impersonation rendered with such crystalline distilled impact that you can practically see it happening in a few short lines. Terrific use of repeat to bring that chant of the crowd across and the fever of the action.
I love how fluidly the whole keeps evolving. The next stanza with it's perfectly proportioned vulgarity that is not vulgar in and of itself, but a perfect barometer of the vulgarity of the gambler's paradise and how the whole write just keeps rotating the dimensions of that reality.
Penultimate stanza has terrific edgy cheek. You could probably also kill at stand up lady. Haha!
The whole has a really back in the day kind of noir feel to it, when the strip was run by gangsters and it was kind of like a neo old west, where anything could happen and a cockswagger could get your famous or killed or both.
You're a fucking pistol. Let predictable never be said in a room you inhabit.
I love the potent detail of the minister, nothing superfluous, you're building the narrative quick fire and effective and all that goes unsaid about a man of the cloth sputtering at a table of vice.
Holy fuck I love stanza 3. It should be in a song.
Stanza 4 has that anchoring effect of color I like pointing out because it shows how smart I am. I love your ability with details. Their baubled tans is so unconventional that it strikes a match. The kids say, lit.
Keep expanding the details, broadening our view of the milieu. You could easily transfer to a novelist if you so desired.
Stanza 6 again is just so fucking superlative. I don't know that I've ever seen Elvis impersonation rendered with such crystalline distilled impact that you can practically see it happening in a few short lines. Terrific use of repeat to bring that chant of the crowd across and the fever of the action.
I love how fluidly the whole keeps evolving. The next stanza with it's perfectly proportioned vulgarity that is not vulgar in and of itself, but a perfect barometer of the vulgarity of the gambler's paradise and how the whole write just keeps rotating the dimensions of that reality.
Penultimate stanza has terrific edgy cheek. You could probably also kill at stand up lady. Haha!
The whole has a really back in the day kind of noir feel to it, when the strip was run by gangsters and it was kind of like a neo old west, where anything could happen and a cockswagger could get your famous or killed or both.
You're a fucking pistol. Let predictable never be said in a room you inhabit.
29th Jun 2020 8:42pm
Oh my gosh I love this review... I’m gangsta grinned and swaggered by it ❤️♠️💋
