My Special Perspective

All around me I see things
That nobody else can see
Like the guy standing in the corner
Or the woman trying to sleep

On my left is the dog that’s never looked quite right
On my right are the little girls that hug each other tight
At the end of every hall I see the tall man looking away
And just before him the woman bowed down to pray.


The faceless black shadow yelling at me
And the figure that’s always just out of my reach
The girl that smiles at me, maybe to make me feel better
And the little boy that only comes in rainy weather


There is one group of people who never leave me be
No matter how desensitized I become, they’re always waiting for me
It seems that even when I find myself feeling calm
It never seems to last very long



Every now and then I go back in my head
To treatment facilities where I wanted to be dead
And where grown adults held me down
And by safe room walls my screams were drowned



Every day I felt more insane
Like what the fuck was I here to gain
I still felt like I wanted to die
And I still couldn’t shut out the voices inside.



Now I’m out and I know that I changed
But deep down I know I’m still quite insane
All of these meds taking away my personality
My depression, BPD, and anxiety


I still want to cut my wrist just to watch the blood flow
And I still put on that fake happy face for show
Like I’m sorry that I want to die
And I’m sorry that I try suicide



I’m sorry I’m a fucked up mess
I’m sorry every day my will to live becomes less
I know I’m broken
Those words have been spoken
Both with whispers in my ear
And shouts for the world to hear



So, please, don’t tell me how broken I am
If you can figure that out, I sure as hell can
Just let me see the things that aren’t there
And show me that you really care.