Were you there?

Oh god... were you there by her side?
my sweet and wonderful grandma...
were you there when she died?
What about my brother?
Were you there as he bled?
Was it really painful?
Is he really dead?
And what about the others?
Hailey and the little boy?
you know... the one who died?
running after a favorite toy?
And Hailey, was it scary?
did it hurt you really bad?
and when you died of cancer
were your parents really sad?
And what about my aunt
and the other relative too?
That boy who died of cancer
and I never really knew?
Were you there to hold their hands?
Were you there to let them know?
Were you there to reassure them
when it was time to go?
I have so many questions...
far too many for me to ask...
but god.. can you at least tell me...
is it really all that bad?