Never to end

I don't bask or bawl in the fact
 that I completely lack connections
 through communication
with others
 probably due to my
 excessive bouts of alienation..

Seclusion only brings me
  elation or suffocation,
no middle ground to be found
and I can't create it
that's why I stay sedated
even then shits instigated within..
A war never to end,
can't pretend
I'm at peace over and over again
when in certain situations
summoning stress or frustration,
testing patience and ones foundation.
I'm finding mine's not so stable
as I'm unable to retain any capability
of keeping calm and letting go
regretfully so..