deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bottle Up? Or Explode? (NaPo #4/30)
I read it over six times,
And just when I think I've gotten it right,
Higher, and higher, my shame, embarrassment, and rage, climes,
For I have yet to get it right.
I keep messing things up,
Making myself look incompetent and unintelligent,
Something's up,
That better not be all that I am, these failures better not be persistent,
For tension is already on the rise,
I don't know how much more of this I can take,
Every single action judged, I see it in their eyes,
I know there's more to me than each minor mistake,
Just, nobody sees it.
Nobody sees the good, and the competent things I do,
Because I'm not out there, bragging about it,
I'm not showing off, though I am proud when something I do
Is successful.
My heart and soul, are being torn asunder,
By the dark, negative, subconscious energy of society, cruel,
Which away, I can no longer filter.
I feel as if I live in a bedlam,
As a beldam,
Without most of the frames of reference
That nowadays are quintessence.
I am torn betwixt telling the truth and asking forgiveness, risking looking like a knave and a buffoon,
Or holding it all in, and exploding soon.
And just when I think I've gotten it right,
Higher, and higher, my shame, embarrassment, and rage, climes,
For I have yet to get it right.
I keep messing things up,
Making myself look incompetent and unintelligent,
Something's up,
That better not be all that I am, these failures better not be persistent,
For tension is already on the rise,
I don't know how much more of this I can take,
Every single action judged, I see it in their eyes,
I know there's more to me than each minor mistake,
Just, nobody sees it.
Nobody sees the good, and the competent things I do,
Because I'm not out there, bragging about it,
I'm not showing off, though I am proud when something I do
Is successful.
My heart and soul, are being torn asunder,
By the dark, negative, subconscious energy of society, cruel,
Which away, I can no longer filter.
I feel as if I live in a bedlam,
As a beldam,
Without most of the frames of reference
That nowadays are quintessence.
I am torn betwixt telling the truth and asking forgiveness, risking looking like a knave and a buffoon,
Or holding it all in, and exploding soon.
Published 4th Apr 2020
| Edited 3rd May 2020
Author's Note
#shame
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Well hell, ok here's the real deal (me) now: i say go out doors and throw some things around, screaming and hollering like a banshee, make sure to break a couple things too. You can be mad at yourself for that later. Then walk away saying "nothing matters anyway."
After you've done that then go about your day. Anyway, a wonderful write. as you can see, i can relate. That was me a few days ago.
Thought it might be humourous to throw that one in. Hope you enjoyed.
After you've done that then go about your day. Anyway, a wonderful write. as you can see, i can relate. That was me a few days ago.
Thought it might be humourous to throw that one in. Hope you enjoyed.
