Drift alone (revised)

Don't feel like
I'm cut out for the human experience
at times.
Make myself believe
it was a mistake
I should've been destined
 for a different dimension,
some secret space
unknown and unoccupied
just to drift alone..

"What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here."

I've let the fear fill and overflow,
it's furious grip
never to let me go..
and so I sense my soul slip slowly
but surely further and further away
day after day
degrading, evading each emotion
drowning in an ocean of obscurity,
insecurities and overwhelming obstacles
I let bring me down..

Still I know this all shall pass,
these thoughts
these feelings
these dealings with inner dilemmas
this life..
my demons dragging me deeper..
so I can't continue to complain
or carry on drained and emptied
of energy..
I know in my head and my heart
it's all up to me
but I dread not being able to
follow through with everything I've said
before I'm dead I better start practicing what I preach and reach for the reality
I've long since fantasized/remembered..