My Son

I have these thoughts in my head
I need to write down so that it can be read  
Things can change in the blink of an eye  
I've made mistakes wasting my life  
What is the virtue of living if Life is a lie  
But, if I die before I wake  
I ask you my son my love to take  
Don't forget me and believe  
The lies and negative things said about me  
I wasn't a perfect man  
I'm sorry I could not be the perfect dad  
I wish you could have known me better  
Wish I could have been a better father figure  
The first day I was able to hold you changed me  
I love you son completely  
But to put it quite blatantly    
Someone brought out the worst in me    
Even tried to keep you from me  
Probably... telling you to call someone else Daddy  
Saying, "he doesn't care about you isn't it plain to see?"  
But that is not reality  
I was desperately hanging by a string    
I was desperately trying... trying to be the best that I could be  
Sometimes I cried.. I cried until my eyes would bleed    
My soul has gone black    
I took three steps forward and four right back  
Whatever the future held for this desperate man  
Was destined to happen  
Just know I Love you and eventually you might understand  
Love always, Dad
 
*[BANG]**