sunflower

giggles thank you beautiful sister I love you lady...

love Brenda ❤

love the flow of your words just draws one in from deep within...respect

thank you graciously dearest Stoney I cherish your thoughts...

love Brenda 🌹

you are truly welcome poetess...respect

Love this!  Dreamy and hopeful.

thank you graciously dearest Tender One... I deeply cherish you...

love Brenda 🌹

Using your art to conquer is very freeing. That is what I thought after reading your poem.

Beautiful sensual write Brenda

The title evokes an immediate smile. :)  This is indicative of lying on a hillside, dreaming and tracing clouds.  It has a very ethereal feel to it that relaxes the reader, as well as taking them back to some childhood point where dreams were real
and anything was possible.

I know you have requested honest critique, so I do want to honor that request with the following:

The first stanza is as close to perfect as one can imagine, except I would say into vs in your soul. It would add to the t consonance of beauty/today/let/artistry.  That way it would flow through all three lines vs. just the first and last.  Read it aloud both ways and see what you think.

paint some beauty today
dip your quill into your soul
let your artistry be known

I honestly don't think you need 'the' in L1 or L2.  Also, I would pause a sec with an em dash after L1, and semi to connect L4.  Because it's implied that the sun rises in the east, do you really need "to rise in the east"?

sunflowers dot [the] hillsides—
happy faces of [the] dawn
I whisper secrets to them;
they awaken ready for the sun [to rise in the east]

Revised:

sunflowers dot hillsides—
happy faces of dawn
I whisper secrets to them;
they awaken ready for the sun

I really enjoyed the imagery of being awakened by flowers! They're gentle movements perhaps brushing the skin, the dappled light as they sway to-and-fro blocking and unblocking the sun.  Do you really need "inside" in L1 or "so" in L2?  As for the quote, Imagine saying it yourself; Oh, Mother! Awaken! Come visit with us!  I would remove the quotation marks and italicize it for emphasis ( which I cannot do in a response ). Although the quotation marks are perfectly fine and acceptable!

I remain sleepy [inside]—
[so] they tenderly sing songs of the heart
"[o]h mother(!) [a]waken (!)"
"[c]ome visit with us"

Edited:

I remain sleepy—
they tenderly sing songs of the heart
Oh mother! Awaken!
Come visit with us!

This next stanza is dreamy; I mean seriously, how many of us, men or women, have not done this: associated the color of something with the eyes of one we love?! This stanza is so relatable in so many ways.  I think the flow could be improved somewhat by eliminating excess words, punctuation, and a bit of syntax revision, particularly in L2.  For example, would it be better to say "drawing lines in blue skies/thinking, they match your eyes?  I would italicize "they match your eyes" ( which I cannot do in a response ).  Also, because it's so dreamlike, I would suggest ending this stanza with ellipses to carry the thought for just that extra second before moving on.

quietly I lie in [the] fields(,) meditating
drawing lines in [the sky so blue]
thinking(,) they match your eyes. . .

Edited:

quietly I lie in fields, meditating
drawing lines in blue skies
thinking, they match your eyes. . .

One reason I suggested the ellipses in the previous stanza is because the dreamlike state of it carries on into this one, which, btw, is all but perfect!  I would suggest an em dash after L1, and perhaps a semi after L3 to connect the next stanza, but that's it!

eons unfold before me—
magic is on the winds
erasing my doubts;

I suggested the semi to connect this stanza with the previous because it carries on the dreamlike vision beautifully.   L1 is magic–seriously. sunflower magic will heal me.  That comes out of left field and is an originally unique way of expressing how nature heals us.  I recommend an em dash after it. I would also push slowly  back to L2 and use an ellipses for emphasis.

sunflower magic will heal me—
into the unknown I walk (,) slowly
[slowly] one foot in front of the other

Edited:

sunflower magic will heal me—
into the unknown I walk, slowly. . .
one foot in front of the other

This final stanza drives it home and clarifies the endmeans of the poem, just as it should.  I would suggest a semi after L1 to connect L2 & an em dash to emphasize that final line, which is killer, by the way.

our date with destiny is promised;
tenderly I call you from the aether—
be fearful of nothing

I have seen such a growth in your poetry in the years I have been on DU.  I believe you are ready to take another step into understanding the crucial role punctuation plays in the delivery of it. How it guides the reader through your own oration of it.  This is why it's so important to read your own poems aloud.  To feel where the pauses are natural and the connections benefit.

It's a lovely poem worthy of attention.  

Inspiring poetry that most of us aspire to produce some day.
This read gave me all the right and hopeful feelings I needed today.
Thank you for writing and sharing this.

Delanee.

Beautiful, Brenda. Soulfully sublime. I think you should record an audio of this write.