The feeling of being alive (revised)

Through the fish eyed lens
 of cold, lifeless eyes
I can barely describe the feeling
 of being alive..
and far from feeling fulfilled
 in this foolish mind of mine,
I'm circling 'round
within the absence of sound
 is where I hide.

If you investigate
the dark side of the mind
and see the fear and beat the deep 
seeded societal structures
and if you make it past
the shadows in your skull,
inspect the minute memories
 reflect on the faded footsteps 
  and as they warp we'll
   let the silence be our guidance. 

We're the ones who live in our hallucinations,
finding ways to escape
who we are within..
We wonder if we'll make it,
from this dream will we wake..
Does anybody love us? 
Or will we always be
just out of reach..

And if I, tell you my secrets 
Could you still accept me 
As I am? 
And if I let down my guard for you,  
show you my true self, 
what would you do? 

Would you reject me and
 proceed to sneak out? 
Would you forget me entirely and
leave me filled with doubt? 
and ignore my whole existence
as I now begin to shout..
Can you hear me screaming..
or have you simply blocked me out? 

Thought I oughta reveal my
 deepest feelings,
Thought I oughta bare my
naked soul,
I hold the pen in trembling hands
afraid to let it go..