deepundergroundpoetry.com
Idle Conversation
Twice a day these hands on the clock are taunting.
The hour she puts on his favourite performance,
and pretends he hasn't left her in pieces.
Broken promises sprinkled to the ground like freshly fallen Snow.
Finally freezing what was left of her memories,
but forgetting to slow her ice encased heartbeat.
Small talk just doesn't feel the same in moments of unbearable longing..
One minute feels more like a life-time,
But he just keeps trying to convince her that,
"all we have is time."
The hour she puts on his favourite performance,
and pretends he hasn't left her in pieces.
Broken promises sprinkled to the ground like freshly fallen Snow.
Finally freezing what was left of her memories,
but forgetting to slow her ice encased heartbeat.
Small talk just doesn't feel the same in moments of unbearable longing..
One minute feels more like a life-time,
But he just keeps trying to convince her that,
"all we have is time."
Published 11th Dec 2019
Author's Note
If "life's too short" then how can "all we have is time?"
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The author encourages honest critique.
11th Dec 2019 11:56pm
Great imagery and and the pain is felt. The question also adds to the piece making it tight.
12th Dec 2019 4:09am
Great piece!!
Love the ending,
"Small talk just doesn't feel the same in moments of unbearable longing..
One minute feels more like a life-time,
But he just keeps trying to convince her that,
"all we have is time."
So excellently expressed, It seems we exist in a paradox of sorts Where we know one day this life ends but it's completely unknown to us when this will happen, the ultimate conundrum
Great write I dig!👏
Love the ending,
"Small talk just doesn't feel the same in moments of unbearable longing..
One minute feels more like a life-time,
But he just keeps trying to convince her that,
"all we have is time."
So excellently expressed, It seems we exist in a paradox of sorts Where we know one day this life ends but it's completely unknown to us when this will happen, the ultimate conundrum
Great write I dig!👏
12th Dec 2019 8:04am
13th Dec 2019 4:38pm
Science is showing that time and space are relative, but it is something that wisdom traditions have long known. We each know from our living experience how time seems to slow and speed by. Your opening stanza, the opening line in particular, is engaging. It sparks immediate curiosity. Well rendered. The stanza before the final line has a strong emanation of feeling, of loss and perhaps the exhaustion of the difficulties of relationships. You have a nice sense for gravity in a final line. Great work.
19th Dec 2019 8:13am
Ouch... I can almost feel your pain. Sounds like you need a better relationship. Your poetic twist was creative, and I liked the poem, but the content saddens me.
19th Dec 2019 4:24pm
