Book Tour, pig story

From my book, Pig in a Web.

        It's night in the barn and Willy is asleep. A red laser pointer scans him, eventually settling on his eyes. This finally wakes him. Willy blinks and rubs his eyes against his short front legs. “Huh? Who's shining that in my eyes?”
       
       Midnight reassures him. “Just your favorite friend, Midnight! Scanning your tissues for edibility.
       Willy, barely awake, without enough imagination to appreciate what was going on, begins to mutter. “What?”
       
       Midnight wasn't interested in alarming her prey. “Nevermind. It's just that there is very little food on this planet that is suitable for me and my siblings.
Willy, since I found what I was looking for, I'm having a party soon and you are invited! But those nasty daycare kids are total party crashers. You can help me by pushing the tots down and eating their ham sandwiches at lunch time.
       Then, when the babies stop visiting, we can have our special fun with new friends!”
       Willy is reassured. “Ok, I need to set boundaries with Mel anyway.
       No more health food and toddler games! I'm drawing the line in the sandwich! But I'm very tired.  Gnight, weird spider girl!”
       
       Midnight feels a flush of anger at her new label. “I hate being called that. I'm an advanced alien class arachnid as far as you lowly earth creatures are concerned! Get it right, little snack.”
       
       Willy recognizes an opportunity to be a little powerful just then. “Well…. I don't like being called little snack!”
       
       Midnight can't believe what she has to put up with. “I am a superior creature, and couldn't care less what you like to be called. Address me with respect. You can be friends or food. If friends, I will call you as I like.”
      Willy had no idea anyone ever saw a meal in him. Even a snack. Something about that pleases him.
       But he has no intention of letting a spider do the eating. “I guess letting you call me snack is better than being one, Your Superior-ness.”
       
       Midnight almost finds it satisfying, but Willy's obedience was is clearly forced she feels none of the necessary respect a truly superior creature desires. No one is going to call her on her ham fisted control, not even a ham!
       Now, only terrified silence could do. “And your sassy compliance still angers me! Silence, Little Snack. Another word and you won't see tomorrow.”
       
       Sheep 1 is ready to share a version of events that was properly spun for barn pop culture. He finishes with a flourishing gesture and adds, “Willy felt a thrill of terror and bowed his head, pretending to sleep, although sleep wouldn't come for a long time. He planned to see tomorrow. He liked his eyes.”
       
       All the barn animals huddle around in low tones, trying to decide who should be board appointed to deal with the rumored crisis that didn't really affect their lives.
       
       Finally, someone clucks, “Rooster for president!” Although nobody seems to understand Rooster’s experience with and connection to handling alien threats, he did a lot to calm down miss Henny-Penny last year, when she was certain the sky was falling.