deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fahrenheit
103.2°F/ 39.55°C
With me full drenched in my sick bed,
He murmurs, filled with a deep dread.
And cradles my head in his lap
As I still shake in fever’s trap.
Then weeping he descends in tears.
But all the same, I am still here,
I’ve battled hard between the years
I haven’t much time left, I fear.
But I am here a while I trust,
I need my faith in Christ, I must.
When things are bad the way is hard,
We walk and bleed as many scars.
My mental wanderings in place
See this much distance and its grace.
And his express when he’s inclined
"Will she live life far past my time?”
Inside this, my delirium,
The truth beneath the catacombs.
Reflected silent dreams entwined,
We leave the future past behind.
99.8°F/ 37.66°C
Exhausted undertaker’s reap,
Betwixt the hills and valleys creep.
This Sabine’s rape and virus fades,
By lesser pins in steps and grades.
As sleep has still denied us rest,
Thus near apart, I bless’ed fall.
To find release by aspen shade
Assuring in its beck and call.
97.9°F/ 36.61°C
The lunar quarter wane has set.
I wake up in the dark and yet
I’m startled by the rushing wind,
I sudden hear him breathing in.
Returned, he’s had a basin bath,
Is naked, fresh and slightly damp.
The springs creak with me in the bed,
We drift just as the dawn turns red.
Word count: 232 (not including title & subtitles)
Missing vowel: “O”
Written by
Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Published 3rd Nov 2019
| Edited 20th Nov 2019
Author's Note
Word count: 232 (not including title & subtitles)
Missing vowel: “O”
For wallyroo’s “Gone Missing”.
Missing vowel: “O”
For wallyroo’s “Gone Missing”.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 23
reads 585
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Fahrenheit
3rd Nov 2019 1:32pm
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
Thank you so much, dear sister, it’s good to see you. And congratulations for being Poet of the Week!💌
I appreciate your thoughts on this, my first attempt at composing a piece (for a competition) where the entry must be no less than 200 words, must rhyme, and must not use one of the vowels throughout the write.
I appreciate your thoughts on this, my first attempt at composing a piece (for a competition) where the entry must be no less than 200 words, must rhyme, and must not use one of the vowels throughout the write.
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
i'm confused then, Jadey
so are You saying that the 3 < O's >
in this spill are subtitles?
so are You saying that the 3 < O's >
in this spill are subtitles?
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
There are no “O” letters anywhere in the piece, T.
These are the subtitles:
103.2°F/ 39.55°C
99.8°F/ 37.66°C
97.9°F/ 36.61°C
They represent temperatures in Fahrenheit & Celsius at three different times during a long night.
They and the title are not included in the word count.
These are the subtitles:
103.2°F/ 39.55°C
99.8°F/ 37.66°C
97.9°F/ 36.61°C
They represent temperatures in Fahrenheit & Celsius at three different times during a long night.
They and the title are not included in the word count.
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
3rd Nov 2019 5:47pm
So it's the pronunciation of the letter < O > then?
I see the 3 words:
now
Of
Exhaustion's
and the letter is not the long sound and so
(the word so - is the long sound)
I am just trying to understand because i was thinking of entering the comp
but after You entered i am now thinking i don't understand the rules / restrictions
I see the 3 words:
now
Of
Exhaustion's
and the letter is not the long sound and so
(the word so - is the long sound)
I am just trying to understand because i was thinking of entering the comp
but after You entered i am now thinking i don't understand the rules / restrictions
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
3rd Nov 2019 6:23pm
So is my interpretation of the rules valid?
I know i don't understand reality the way most do
and so, it's only why i asked.
My interpretation is rarely the case.
I know i don't understand reality the way most do
and so, it's only why i asked.
My interpretation is rarely the case.
0
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
3rd Nov 2019 6:24pm
ah so!
You mended the spill : )
thank You for addressing my inquiry with kindness
Love You, Sister
You mended the spill : )
thank You for addressing my inquiry with kindness
Love You, Sister
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
3rd Nov 2019 6:33pm
Kindness is what you also showed, my brother, by bringing it to my attention.🙏🏻
Anonymous
- Edited 4th Jun 2022 2:45am
3rd Nov 2019 6:44pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
3rd Nov 2019 7:26pm
*rendered speechless, now with tears in /her/ eyes...*
Thank you... my friend...
Jade🙏🏻
Thank you... my friend...
Jade🙏🏻
Re. Fahrenheit
4th Nov 2019 4:21am
Dear JP,
W-w! I d-n’t think I c-uld manage this c-mp at all. N- o’s. Yikes!
N-pe. I give. I c-uldn’t even
c-mpliment yu- with-ut them.
Best -f luck in the c-mp! Well penned! H🌷
W-w! I d-n’t think I c-uld manage this c-mp at all. N- o’s. Yikes!
N-pe. I give. I c-uldn’t even
c-mpliment yu- with-ut them.
Best -f luck in the c-mp! Well penned! H🌷
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
Aaw, thanks to my dear sister H!
And this being a first time writing a piece minus a letter of the alphabet (where else?), the fact that I succeeded came as a pleasant surprise!
Further discussion fails me...😏
Jade xo
And this being a first time writing a piece minus a letter of the alphabet (where else?), the fact that I succeeded came as a pleasant surprise!
Further discussion fails me...😏
Jade xo
Re. Fahrenheit
4th Nov 2019 8:26pm
Ms Jade, you have set the bar high. Thank you for entering.
I love love the way your piece flowed so effortlessly. I know that removing one vowel is challenge but you did it and with such style and captivating subject.
I love love the way your piece flowed so effortlessly. I know that removing one vowel is challenge but you did it and with such style and captivating subject.
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
5th Nov 2019 8:23am
My humble thanks to you, Wally. It was a challenge that I found exhilarating, and I so appreciate it was made possible through you.
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
5th Nov 2019 8:27am
Re. Fahrenheit
5th Nov 2019 7:03pm
Wow, what a spill! Clever, clean and poignant.
My favorite line...of course
"But I am here a while I trust,
I need my faith in Christ, I must.
When things are bad the way is hard,
We walk and bleed as many scars."
My favorite line...of course
"But I am here a while I trust,
I need my faith in Christ, I must.
When things are bad the way is hard,
We walk and bleed as many scars."
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
5th Nov 2019 7:50pm
Why hello there, dear TIG, and thank you so much for stopping by for a read and sharing your response with me. I appreciate your favorite part of the write, too.🙏🏻
Re. Fahrenheit
Beautiful , everything about this poem is constructed with elegant etherealness duo'd with a thoughtful intelligence .
Glad to be reading your poetry again .
Glad to be reading your poetry again .
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
6th Nov 2019 5:04pm
Re. Fahrenheit
6th Nov 2019 3:20pm
This is touching. Love the format and progression. Terrific emotional emanations throughout.
1
Re: Re. Fahrenheit
Thank you so much, Daniel... you always have a way when expressing your thoughts that’s always uplifting.🙏🏻