deepundergroundpoetry.com

Confession

       
         
Sometimes I fantasize about being strung out        
         
for days inside your condo.        
         
Lying there, lucidly, in a muddled stupor.        
         
The taffeta bed sheets stick to my skin.        
         
In a haze, my heavy armor -        
         
 sweat drenched and discarded.          
         
You soothe the ridges of my furrowed brow        
         
as soft utterances of tender sweet nothings          
         
escape from your parched lips.        
         
“I’ll marry you, not now but when I become a man again.”        
         
“Right now, I’m weak...”        
         
“I’m not the man you need me to be.”        
         
My eyes, glistening, in the dim lighting,        
         
squint from the stench of your cigarette.        
         
“Look at me,” you coax into my ear.        
         
“You’re beautiful here.”        
         
I turn my head to meet your gaze.        
         
“I know you’re sad too.”        
         
Your face is a woeful confession.        
         
There is a slight intermission...        
         
and I suspect I feel you growing against my thigh.        
         
A mound of warm, naked flesh.        
         
“Let’s do another hit off your ass” you say changing the subject.        
         
I watch the corners of your mouth upturn        
         
and  feverish with the thought.        
         
There is only my willing submissiveness        
         
acting        
         
as the savior and solitary solution          
         
to our lingering  respite.        
         
         
         
Reflecting on these candid moments,        
         
it isn’t you or the drugs I miss...       
         
         
           It’s the forlorn attempt at being          
         
         
   the closest to true love I’ll ever get...        
         
                                  
     in this lifetime.        
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
Written by LostGirl18
Published | Edited 19th Sep 2019
Author's Note
Inspired by the love of a gangster.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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