Do This

Im right there with you Ahvanti.  We need to pay far more attention  to our inner gods. Superior write.


luv's,
buddhakitty.

Thank you, Kitts. Most appreciated. xo

“Some things don't come with a manual
 nor answers right after-the-fact;  
but, are learned through regret—  
 the kind that remains  
 decades strong”

Your writing is my absolution, Wise One. (:

Your friend,
LostGirl

Thank you, Lost Girl.  Humbling, that. xo

Thank you, BB. I appreciate that muchly.
xo

I stopped doing that
so i could forget

wonderful intelligent spill, for me

Thank you, Tallen. Much appreciated.
xo

Growing up in an unreligious home, much of what occurs behind church doors baffles me.  
 
What I do understand is that all the spiritual illumination we could ever hope for is at our fingertips to access if we just be quiet and observe the poetry going on around us and happening to us.  
 
That is where the true beauty of this poem lies for me - the process of association connecting us to our own behaviors so intimately that years down the line, a simple seemingly random thought can unravel so much more about us within a moment than we could learn through years of therapy or adherence to religious rituals.  
 
❤📝

Thank you for that. Association is so important, especially to the things that others feel don't matter. Appreciate you. ❤📝

The guilt one feels...
The ritual (or tradition for some) sometimes loses the meaning. The original teachings of one JC - to love one another - has lost it's true intent in current times and it seems that there's a lot of hypocrisy that goes along with it (Save a life by telling a woman what to do with her body, but an immigrant child is treated like an animal).

In a way some organized religions have been clubs with a T at the top of their buildings. Then again I grew up Catholic and Pentacostal for many years and have issues with it.

Great write. It stirred me up.

Thank you, Wally. You really hit the nail on the head regarding the essence of Jesus' teachings having lost their meaning and intent.  If Christianity teaches us anything, it's that even Christianity is divided into so many sectors and subsectors because people cannot agree.

The truth is within us <- that is the most powerful message in the bible other than Love.

Strong write lasse amazing how you catch the littl details and boom you reveal

Thank you for noticing, Liam. Much appreciated.

Wow. What shocking, gentle reverence of a demon here. You have such a way, even with a harsh topic, of leading a reader in and making them believe you have the reigns, even if the topic does, if that makes sense? It's all so cool and collected.

Beautiful. X

Yes; it makes perfect sense.  Thank you for noting that - sometimes we don't see our work as others; therefore, their observations are paramount to an entirely new perspective.  And I always appreciate yours, Poppy. xo

Thank you, HF. Truly appreciated.  

Here's to one day!

A deep bow in your honor my Queen of the Poem. "Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone." My favorite Jesus come philosophy advice. Bravo Miss A.
Cheers...Harry

Thank you, my Friend. I truly appreciate those words.  It's one of my favorite too! Next to where the truth lies, and love, of course. I appreciate you!

The poem is divided into numbered sections; number "1" appears to be missing.

I remember it like yesterday—  
  Eucharist; eschewing    
        processed wafers  
  for freshly baked bread;    

I liked the use of "eschewing" because this contains "chewing", which is a good image for taking the Eucharist, as it implies deliberate and mindful ... chewing.

"I was presented the remains—     "  not sure if this reads better as "I was presented with the remains—     ".  A minor point of personal preference, perhaps.


In "masticated between two limbs", I wondered about the use of "limbs", rather than jaw.  But I suppose that "limbs" brings to mind crucifixion; so that's perhaps good and appropriate.

I liked "... natural ... nature ..." and the use of murder with crows, not just because a group of crows is a murder, but because murder is kind of what a cruxifixction is, and is alliterates with "merciless".  


Then came crows—  
 a murder ripping its flesh    
with their merciless beaks;    

This is good, because this violence follows unexpectedly the serenity and gentleness of the previous stanzas.  This could be seen as an allegorical/metaphorical (not quite sure which applies here) to the serenity of Jesus and the violence of the crucifixion, with the crows representing the mob and the Romans.

And then parts three and four.  These are deeply reflective and philosphical.  I have often wondered about the Eucharist.  At our church, unconfirmed children were not permitted to take it. But we used to give piece of our bread to our children at the altar rail; it felt right.  My very young sonsaid that "it's like sharing the love".  I still ponder the Eucharist, and rarely take it these days.  But this insight has stayed with me.

I think that the Eucharist is symbolic .... a reminder ... a remembrance ... and the attitude and inner person is an inescapable and necessary part of it.  I've not worded that very well.

SeaCat

Hi, Seacat!

First, let me apologize for the delayed response.  Sometimes it just takes me a bit to get it all together.

"1" is missing because the title is a part of it.  I felt by inserting "1" would be a separation of the the title from the verse. I'm not sure of an alternate option?

+++++++

"I liked the use of "eschewing" because this contains "chewing", which is a good image for taking the Eucharist, as it implies deliberate and mindful ... chewing."

Thank you - that is exactly why I selected it.

+++++++

"I was presented the remains—     "  not sure if this reads better as "I was presented with the remains—     ".  A minor point of personal preference, perhaps."

I actually had 'with' in there, then removed it. Then put it back in. Then removed it again. LOL! It's one of those I kept going back-and-forth with. I think it needs it until I put it in, then decide it doesn't. Maybe one will stick in the future.

+++++++

"In "masticated between two limbs", I wondered about the use of "limbs", rather than jaw.  But I suppose that "limbs" brings to mind crucifixion; so that's perhaps good and appropriate."

Each slice of bread was supposed to represent a limb ( or arm ) - I kinda feel I failed, and yet you got it.  So I guess that's perhaps good too!

+++++++

"I liked "... natural ... nature ..." and the use of murder with crows, not just because a group of crows is a murder, but because murder is kind of what a cruxifixction is, and is alliterates with "merciless"."

Exactly. You nailed that one.

+++++++

"This is good, because this violence follows unexpectedly the serenity and gentleness of the previous stanzas.  This could be seen as an allegorical/metaphorical (not quite sure which applies here) to the serenity of Jesus and the violence of the crucifixion, with the crows representing the mob and the Romans."

I'm honestly not sure which applies either, so you're not alone. And, yes, that is a perfect interpretation.

+++++++

"And then parts three and four.  These are deeply reflective and philosphical.  I have often wondered about the Eucharist.  At our church, unconfirmed children were not permitted to take it. But we used to give piece of our bread to our children at the altar rail; it felt right.  My very young sonsaid that "it's like sharing the love".  I still ponder the Eucharist, and rarely take it these days.  But this insight has stayed with me."

That is a beautiful story regarding your son.  We allowed children because of Jesus saying suffer them not to come unto him.  But I can certainly understand where some would not, especially until the child fully understood.

I've read many an interpretation of the eucharist from scholars and theologians - none of them quite hits home yet. Or, rather, resonates as full truth within me.

+++++++

I think that the Eucharist is symbolic .... a reminder ... a remembrance ... and the attitude and inner person is an inescapable and necessary part of it.  I've not worded that very well."

I think it definitely is an individual experience and interpretation according to one's own heart and truth.

Thank you so much for your detailed analysis and suggestions. It was much appreciated and recognized as a gift of time and expertise.

Hello Ahavati,
Thank you for your reply to my comments.  No worries about the delayed response.  It is always a pleasure to read and comment on your poems :)

I see what you mean about the 1.  But nevertheless, it does look "missing".

But how about this as a idea.  As the title forms part of the poem, what about replacing 2,3,4 with subtitles?  Then there is no worry with a missing "1".  OR, instead of inventing sub-titles, what about using the first words/lines in each part?

Do This
...


I Remember it like yesterday
...


Somethings don't come with a manual
...


Love requires no sacrifice
...

(you could even swap some of the lines like I did with the last stanza).  Anyway, just a suggestion to obviate the problem with numbering and the missing "1".


SeaCat

How about what I did?

How does that appear?

Well Ahavati.  Normally I’m reserved in the extreme.  For fear of causing upset, or spouting about that which know nothing.

But in a moment of carefree abandon, arising from overflowing Love which has no easy resolution, I shall speak freely.

Numbers represent something quite different to words.  Your poem, represents (to my interpretation) the poetic, the softer, the feminine.  Numbers feel masculine, and don’t look right here.  They jar.

I feel that subtitles (to mirror
“Do This” is the way to go.  

SeaCat (overly emotional)

Okay such an emotional appeal deserves no less than acknowledgment.   I was, however, confused that you suggested "Love requires no sacrifice" vs. it's preceding line?

You never have to worry about speaking free to me.  Some people don't appreciate and are threatened by truth - I am not one.  On the contrary, I relish it.

Thank you for your time.

I wondered what you meant at first, then i realised. ....

I meant swap the lines, so that “Love requires no sacrifice “ becomes the stanza title, because it’s strong.

Love requires no sacrifice  

 (This) I've always innately known
nor symbolic proof—    
only us, un-crucifying ourselves    
 for human mistakes      


With the right stanza titles, the title and stanza titles might even make a poem  in their own right.

Perhaps disperse with the numbers, and use some kind of section separator, such as centred tilde.

A trail of blood symbolic
Trial and error
Always living to give in
The knowledge of Un-crucifying is very useful.  
Thank You Ahavati

Thank you, TF.  Your comment is much appreciated.

I like the story, how it illustrates the mystery of why martyrdom is such an idol to worship. Your tenacious spirit comes through in this, your theme of overcoming, and your ending left open to interpretation.  It's very enlightening to think of swimming against the current, achieving independence of thought..

Thank you, PR. I greatly appreciate that observation, particularly in reference to swimming against the current to achieve independence of thought. Very wise indeed.

Loved reading this entry
Religion doesn't play in my world
Faith and maybe prayer are on the fringes
Quality ink A

Like

Thank you, Poet.  I'm happy it resonated somewhere inside you; much appreciated.

Wonderful writing, metaphorically rich, and much depth of observation.
mercy, found within,
like you say, un-crucifying,
for one's own self, for others,
sharing the consecrated light,
"...as you did not do it to one of the least of these,
you did not do it to Me."
same light shining in it all, his
eyes from the cross see
many crows appear within
this ocean-heart.
"How did Christ meditate," they had asked.
The baba cried silent.
"He lost himself in love. He never died," he said,
"He never died."

Beautiful, thank you. Much appreciated.

i think i've been sitting with this one for two days now and wresting with just how to comment.
there is so much care and attention to detail that i feel a bit like an elephant in a minefield...
... you've really taken that "source & summit" thought and worked it intricately throughout, like the life ov christ from conception {baking} to the violent culmination ov the crucifixion {or at least this is how i see it}
i adore the full circle feel {the resurrection,if you will} ov the last line mirroring the first, it's bloody fine writing, vati but one knows to expect nothing less then absolute genius over here.
much love to you, lady rumi
🖤

OMG! Lady Rumi!

Thank you, Katja. That was humbling at best, and yet it made my day ( and gives me something to strive toward ).  Thank you for sharing your interpretation; I appreciate it greatly, as well as your graceful return to the Deep Side!  xo