Help me

Here we go
We back at it again!
Only this time you took it to far
Swollen lip, and nose with two guns shoved to my head
Yelling telling me to shut the Fuck up
Make one more sound and bitch you dead!
How could you do this to me !!!
How could you cheat on me!!!
Heavily breathing trying not to say the wrong word
Cause if I make it out this time I'm leaving him for good and that's my word
Kids screaming and crying
Distracting his attention too me
I'm trying to come up with a master plan to get my self out and flee
My cousin outside he keep blowing the horn
But he don't know what's going on behind these close doors
Because if I pour it all out his heart will be torn
Before I could make a run
That clown grab me again
Shove me in the room so he can batter me some more
This point I have no more fight left in me
He hurt me all the way down, i mean down to the core
Before he came to his senses I'm cleaning the blood up
He look in my face and yell out Fuuucckkkk!!!!
hands swollen, face beaten all up, throat sore from being strangled and knees bruised from falling
Tears dried up and all I'm thinking to myself
If you really love me you'll let me go
Stop trying to hold on to those years that was up and down
I'm not happy anymore cause when I see you all I do is frown
No, I'm not saying I was miss perfect
I cheated multiple time on him
I HATED HIM!!!
for all those times he made me feel low and alone
When he told me I'm not sexy but only cute
When he wouldn't hold me at night and made fat jokes
When he made every excuse there was not to kiss and pleasure me
For everytime he said I was wrong and he was right
Plenty of times I ask him to leave and he wouldn't
Telling me I'm a quitter all I'm good for is giving up
Like he knows what's best for me acting like he really give a fuck
All I want for  myself is to be better than this
Never imagine me will have to deal with all this
They was right about you
He said
Can't turn a hoe,into a house wife
He said
You ain't shit
Don't nobody want you
Verbally abusing me after physically hurting me
The things that he's saying is mentally killing me
 I get to thinking maybe he right
I'm a Big fuck up and my decision isn't right
As I pull myself together and slowly get into bed
He steady tryna talk to me but all I see is a replay in my head
BITCH YOU DEAD! BITCH YOU DEAD!
There's no coming back from this
I'll be a fool If I stay
I love myself too much to keep tolerating this mess
My kids come first
True enough they love they Daddy..yes!
It's time we love him from a distance
I don't wanna make them have to choose
But right now it's my decision and I gotta do what I gotta do
I'll take all the blame of course it's my fault
But had I told you I wanted to end it before I even cheated will the outcome been a little different
If I can't have you, no one else will
That psycho mentality that you have
Either way I'm screwed
With or without you
I'm no good for you
I'm nothing but poison cause everything I ditch out is nothing but negativity
I'm Vulnerable in the inside
I'm kicking and screaming
Feel like a prisoner in my own house who's kept in captivity
What would you do if you was me?
Watching your back sometimes scared to sleep
Don't wanna say a word
Don't want nobody to judge me
But the whole time I wanna say
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
COULD YOU PLEASE!!!!