RAMBLINGLY WRITTEN IDIOMS

Liar liar pants on fire
Hang yourself from a telephone wire
 The grass is or is it not always greener on the other side
 If you can't see eye to eye
 Then disagree because
 All lies die
 You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip
 Just like you can't cross that bridge once you've burned it
 Chewing tobacco chewing tobacco chewing tobacco spit
 Pissing in the wind falling back into sh*t
 It's time to piss on the fire and call in the dogz
 Little Johnny went and smoked some sh*t
 and got eaten by the hogz
 Cut off your nose to spite your own cockeyed face
 Little Jimmy cracked some corn slow and steady winz the race
 Get on your mark then get steady and get set
 You can lead a horse to water but you can't place his bet
 Road hard and put away wet
 Like a whore in church I sweat
 Do you really want to hear just how the cow ate the cabbage
 Well he ate it way too fast and he choked on it
 So you can put that in your pipe and you can smoke on it
 Why did the little turtle cross the mf'n road
 Well fukk a duck I really don't know
 He probably had his prick stuck in a chicken with slim pickens
 Working on the railroad with all my ducks out of the row
 When the shove comes to push
 A bird in the hand is worth two cold Busch
 In a box with some kush
 Now I'm counting all my ducks before they hatch
 And I'm putting all my eggs in one batch
 I tried to shut the door it wouldn't latch
 Speak of the devil see the fire and strike a match
 There's the little kettle that the pot called black
 and I'm the fire and he's sticking in the frying pan
 Well the early bird gets it but then that owl gets the fowl
 and the two birds stoned leaves the worm all alone
 but it's okay to put the cart before the horse
 Do it gently with force with no remorse
 Stay on the course of course
 It's a horse of course
 It's a horse like no other
 It's the horse of a different color