deepundergroundpoetry.com
Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
could take centuries;
bitter armies labouring daily
would waste their lives
Death intervenes too soon-
removes diseased mortality;
leaves that monument
standing strong
It takes
this mustard seed of patience
requiring trust
relinquishing control
to transform circumstance
without excessive force
or needless damage
Mineral sand with rock
crushed into finely stratified shale
will regale countless stories
when stones cry out:
how erosion, landslides
dust storms were avoided-
rivers, forests, farmland
wildlife habitats preserved
But, no tale
recounting your victory exists
in recorded annals
Au contraire
just another failed attempt
playing innocent;
a martyr
operating the muddy jackhammer
because you never learn
~
bitter armies labouring daily
would waste their lives
Death intervenes too soon-
removes diseased mortality;
leaves that monument
standing strong
It takes
this mustard seed of patience
requiring trust
relinquishing control
to transform circumstance
without excessive force
or needless damage
Mineral sand with rock
crushed into finely stratified shale
will regale countless stories
when stones cry out:
how erosion, landslides
dust storms were avoided-
rivers, forests, farmland
wildlife habitats preserved
But, no tale
recounting your victory exists
in recorded annals
Au contraire
just another failed attempt
playing innocent;
a martyr
operating the muddy jackhammer
because you never learn
~
Author's Note
words 102 / unique 102
Image - Odilon Redon - Evocation ( Woman on the Mountain )
Image - Odilon Redon - Evocation ( Woman on the Mountain )
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 2
comments 19
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
Anonymous
- Edited 8th May 2019 11:23pm
8th May 2019 11:22pm
* wears my hardhat while critiquing *
Being privy to the poem's beginning, it's amazing to see all the iterations before the far superior final product.
shale, regale, tale - its even got some rhyming going on!
A 102 unrepeated words. It's unheard of. What discipline!
And the metaphor of course is solid as a rock.
📝❤
Being privy to the poem's beginning, it's amazing to see all the iterations before the far superior final product.
shale, regale, tale - its even got some rhyming going on!
A 102 unrepeated words. It's unheard of. What discipline!
And the metaphor of course is solid as a rock.
📝❤
2
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
📝❤ Thank you for your assistance and the RL honor.
Did you ever read 'The Elements of Style'? It's really impacted my writing.
#Strunkism
Did you ever read 'The Elements of Style'? It's really impacted my writing.
#Strunkism
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
Anonymous
9th May 2019 00:15am
LOL After NaPo I'm just now remembering to put my pants on over my underwear and not the opposite.
I shall add it to my reading list.
I shall add it to my reading list.
1
Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
8th May 2019 11:29pm
So much damage done for my pleasure...this is some profound thinking ink A...as all great poetry should do...it brings forth questions to meditate on.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
1
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
8th May 2019 11:38pm
Exactly, Harry. You always get me.
Thank you for the RL honor as well, my friend.
Thank you for the RL honor as well, my friend.
Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
yep this is one of my favourites of yours. i really do respond to its depth and some amazing lines' the last three lines are so good. really powerful.
2
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
8th May 2019 11:46pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th May 2020 8:45pm
9th May 2019 00:00am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
9th May 2019 00:10am
Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
9th May 2019 2:19pm
Molding dirt and stone into a wonderful poem. Great job!
Now I was wondering if you could stop by my place? I have some landscaping that needs to be done.
Now I was wondering if you could stop by my place? I have some landscaping that needs to be done.
1
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
9th May 2019 2:22pm
Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
9th May 2019 2:27pm
Enjoyed this read, (if 'enjoyed' is the right word).
The technological project has always been to "do" Nature better than Nature herself. And all the signs are pointing towards the exact opposite - the destruction of Nature. Is this some devlish master-plan - or just ignorance? I wonder. Once the momentum of dependence is created, it's hard to undo. Hence history repeats itself.
But there have always been voices (for example) against the agri-chemical approach to farming (one of the main causes of destruction) and these voices showed we could feed the world organically with locally grown food. Their voices were squashed and their research labs destroyed (for example Raoul Francé).
The technological project has always been to "do" Nature better than Nature herself. And all the signs are pointing towards the exact opposite - the destruction of Nature. Is this some devlish master-plan - or just ignorance? I wonder. Once the momentum of dependence is created, it's hard to undo. Hence history repeats itself.
But there have always been voices (for example) against the agri-chemical approach to farming (one of the main causes of destruction) and these voices showed we could feed the world organically with locally grown food. Their voices were squashed and their research labs destroyed (for example Raoul Francé).
1
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
Exactly, Josh. I tried to find an update about China leveling 700 mountain tops ( started in 2014 - 2016 ) despite warnings it would cause potential damage to the ecosystem. Most for cities on the new Silk Road Economic Belt, a colossal network of new highways, rail lines, logistics and industrial zones, pipelines, power plants, sea ports, administrative centers, and new cities that will stretch from East Asia to Western Europe, spanning 60 countries and over half of the world’s GDP.
You know - everything for profit at the expense of nature.
I always wanted to write about it, and recent events provided me an opportunity to pull it together metaphorically. Patience really is a virtue when waiting for the poem to arrive.
You know - everything for profit at the expense of nature.
I always wanted to write about it, and recent events provided me an opportunity to pull it together metaphorically. Patience really is a virtue when waiting for the poem to arrive.
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
9th May 2019 10:50pm
That's interesting - now I understand the title of the poem better. I had heard about the new silk road, and about the odd mountain being levelled. I hadn't known there were so many mountains to be levelled, nor that it was connected with building the silk road.
1
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
10th May 2019 2:44pm
AH.....an allegory befitting "the times" and beyond.
Again.......illustration a knock-out. Did YOU do that?
Again.......illustration a knock-out. Did YOU do that?
1
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
10th May 2019 2:47pm
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
14th May 2019 2:45pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Moving the Mountainous Metaphor
14th May 2019 2:46pm