I Want to be Free

My empathetic sensitivity,
Bombarded by toxic negativity,
Loud, depressing, fast-talking, wordy, politics,
Surveillance, coalition, ethics, tactics.
I love big, fancy, words, but there are absolutely no laymans terms!
Talk of problems and victims...
Oh, I'll show you victims...
I can't take the tv barbarisms and the narcissisms.
Your life is stuck in the doldrums,
 
 
If I had my way, no one would know for days,
Of your covered airways,
Or perhaps your stab wounds,
While I pull away like bergshrunds,
And go home,
Away from this life, so monochrome.
I'm going so crazy, I want to scream,
I wish this was a dream!
Why can't I be numb to the pain,
Like over-saturated mud, from the rain.
I miss my family,
I want to leave hastily,
And get away from here, from you,
This is true...
 
 
The only thing keeping you alive is the love of my life,
If I kill you, I could go away for life,
I would never see him again,
From him, I would have to abstain,
And also, I would never be able to say "This is my boyfriend [redacted]",
This man is the best in the world, you deserve to see us together before you've departed.
 
If I had my way, I would smother you while you slept,
This is a secret I've kept,
And will continue to keep,
No one will hear a peep.
Everything I stand for,
You are against, it makes my heart sore.
I would end you,
And no one would know about you,
Not for days, you never go anywhere,
They would assume you were still here,
Until someone comes, to take you grocery shopping,
And I would be long gone I'm hoping.
 
I must leave as soon as possible,
I must go home as soon as possible,
I must get away from the pain,
I have tried my best, but even grownups have situations they can't sustain.
Help me!
Free me!
Free me, from this barless prison,
I want to see another sun,
From my own home,
Not from behind a project or a tome.